I went shopping for a couple of new nighties because Mum has lost so much weight that some are too big and gaping. I also looked for a couple of little bed jacket style tops. Fortunately I found two lightweight little cotton knit jackets from a casual clothing shop and the nighties from Best and Less. I also bought myself a nightie because I have only got a pair of summer pjs that I have had to recycle. It is pretty warm here so they dry most times before I need them though once or twice I have needed to sleep in them with a damp waist band.
While I was shopping I bought a Scrabble set for John and Tracey as we have all got the scrabble bug. I have been quite diligent about getting my 10,000 steps in daily which has helped me feel fresher and fitter after all the sitting.
I am seeing the tranquil beauty in the river and glowing deep mauve of the Jacaranda trees as they blossom one by one along the river walk. It is soothing to observe natures cycle. The art along the river is interesting too.
I took a ferry down river to New Farm park on the opposite side of the river, which as a child I remembered as huge and glorious with mature Jacarandas. It didn't seem so large anymore but still it was attractive and I returned to Kangaroo Point by walking along the river bank and the new fixed boardwalk all the way back and over the Story Bridge to Kangaroo Point and home. The boardwalk used to be floating but got extensively damaged in the last big flood so now it is fixed and probably flood resistant. Just before the park I saw this gracious example of an old Queenslander. What a beauty, like a frothy white wedding cake. I grew up in a similar home as this though not as beautiful. Perfect for the climate with extensive shady verandahs surrounding an inner core of cool darkish rooms.
Each night we have been Scrabbling and Tracey and John are improving fast.
The time seems to go so quickly and every night I am so tired.
Mum had a traumatic nose bleed on Thursday night and that seems to have instigated a dramatic decline. She was supposed to use a face mask for oxygen to relieve her nose but she found it claustrophobic and kept fighting it until I asked for the prongs back. Then she was confused about which ones she should be having. She seemed to be more confused and tired all day. Sunday night she had a terrifying "dream" that she got out of bed and couldn't get any help and had to bang the table for the nurses. She wanted a doctor and was terrified but a nurse came and soothed her and got her back to bed. When I came in Monday she was upset and when I checked with the staff none of this had been true. She was delirious. Since then she has been more and more tired and sleepy. She is confused sometimes and then completely with it.
It is so hard to see her like this and she hates it too. The little dog Kimba came yesterday and I chased them up to visit mum. It made her day even though she was so weak.
The doctors came and she asked him if she was dying. He told her that she was progressing but not yet in the last stages. We talked about her treatment. As she becomes sleepier they will reduce the oxygen and increase the morphine so she is not distressed. I felt upset by the development but it is what we and Mum have all talked about before now. None of us want any false prolonging of the inevitable. The staff here are very kind and supportive and it heartens me that they never do anything without consulting mum too. It is painful to see her so debilitated and she is asking for it to be over soon.
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