1 st October steady as she goes

It seems surreal that I am now seeing a real change in Mum. Over the last two weeks we have gone from " mum could be here till Christmas " thinking to," could she pass in the next week"?. It is a roller coaster contributed to the ongoing but snail pace decline of my aunt Val who has had Alzheimer's for nearly 15 years. She hasn't spoken for 8 years and is also in her end days but when she looks to be taking her last breath, she has a good night and bounces back. All weekend we were expecting the call and it never came. For Tracey it is agonising because her Mum has been effectively gone for several years but the husk of her body 

remains. It is a curse and Val's condition has always caused so much pain for Mum. Val was her baby sister, her living doll!

I had a great week prior to this when I had dinner out with David and Anne Marie at a Chinese restaurant. I was so happy because I have been missing that style of food. I am now cooking a meal a week here and it is always Chinese. Tracey says she hasn't eaten as much rice or pork as she has since I started cooking! I even cooked with a head lamp one night because the rangehood light has blown and I couldn't see into the large pot I use because there is no Wok! Why didn't I think of that at Logaston when I was staying with Andy and Karen I wonder?

Later in the week I took in a movie " Bridget Jones's Baby" which was extremely amusing and caused me many belly laughs. It was great to laugh like that; such a release. The following evening it was the River Fire, a fireworks spectacle on the Brisbane river. Of course it was fun with lots of oohing and ahhing at the dramatic fireworks set to music by Prince and David Bowie. I danced and jiggled like a fourteen year old ( although 14 year olds are probably too cool for that in public).  

Tracey and John don't usually join  the crowds on the cliffs but did so for me this year. I loved the buzz of course after all the quiet hospital days. 

I began to think about returning to Melbourne for a visit, especially as Ziggy's birthday party was looming. In the end I just couldn't justify leaving knowing I would be wanting to get back as soon as possible anyway.