Boxing Day 26th December

I expected to sleep in today but woke at my usual 6:30 am.  I was so tired coming home last night I nearly fell asleep at the traffic lights on the corner of Toorak and Tooronga roads. 5 mins from home thank goodness. We had a fun day with Ziggy providing most of the entertainment with his cute ways and happy little chatter. He adores Uncle Chico(Nick) and Lindo( Rebecca Nick's partner) and played games and sat with her. She is so loving and patient with him. He was playing hide and seek and was priceless with his hands over his eyes and counting numbers erratically. We ate in Roger's backyard and he had decorated one of his trees as a Christmas tree so all the presents were under the tree. Ziggy handed them out to everyone. He has this very purposeful stance with his little arms bent and fists clenched so he runs with his arms pumping. It is very endearing. He received lots of presents and was very keen to play with his tennis racquet. He had everyone involved throwing the ball so he could hit. He managed a few. He has pretty good eye hand coordination. He had bubbles too which are always fun. Christmas is more joyous with children around. Robert came laden with gifts from he and Wanda  who remained home with her mother. Mrs Leckie is not doing so well these days which is hard for them.

We had a lovely easy day and then when everyone left Roger and I watched an episode of Game of Thrones, took a walk,  and got ready for more visitors. I am going to miss Roger when he moves to Sydney for his new job. Rogers friends came and the evening was delightful as they are lovely people and I was joined by Juliette, Roger's Korean friend and Chris's Mother Jenny down from NSW. Other couples were hosting parents as well and I was struck by how considerate and caring they were when they talked of their 'in-laws'.  It seemed they were more generous than many heterosexual couples.

More delicious food was consumed of course and wine and present swapping. They gave lovely thoughtful and some fun presents. It was an evening full of friendship and love. Roger will miss these friends very much when he moves. 

The Christmas season is starting to find new rhythms and traditions. We can't cling to the old ways but must adjust and be glad for what we can share together.

Christmas spirit

This week has been full of Christmas parties with several nights out. As well I have had dentist visits and shopping. The apartment is pretty messy with wrapping materials across the dining table. I am actually sick of the mess! I set up my LED stars as a tree on the window and I am placing presents at the base. It looks a bit festive and finally started some Christmas cooking with Christmas carols in the background. That is an old tradition I haven't visited for a long time. 

My restless heart seemed to settle once I got into the cooking and a sense of accomplishment washed over me as I wrote many Christmas cards though I realise now I may have missed a few people. It has been a bit haphazard over the last few years with work consuming most of my energies. 

Yesterday my god-daughter had a delayed birthday celebration for her 21st. She and her mum cooked up a storm with Amy ambitiously cooking seafood paella and delicious salads while Jill made two desserts and a chocolate birthday cake. Amy did a great job with the Paella. She has just finished her BA in psychology and hopes to go onto her honours year at Melbourne University and is also turning into a great cook too like her mum Jill whose desserts were scrumptious.

It was a lovely family occasion with my other cousin Pam and her daughter Kristin and her delightful, lively little girls, Steve (Jiills husband and Amy's dad) his sister and her partner and two adult children Jordan and Kassie as well as Rhys ( Amy's brother) and his pretty girlfriend Emma. 

Rhys is training to be a weight lifter and has developed huge muscles since I last saw him. He is entering a competition next year. I could have used his strength last night when I nearly tipped a jar of tomato sauce over myself in the struggle to get the lid off the jar. Some sauce went flying into the sink thank goodness  when the lid finally budged!

Kristin fell asleep on the couch amidst all the noise while the girls were playing with Jill's lone chicken. What a placid little animal allowing itself to be carted around by the girls. Full time parenting is only meant for the young and they still get tired!

I wonder about these women who start families in their late forties. How do they cope with lively children? Love conquers all I guess.

Today another party with Peter's ' cousins.  I am on a roll into Christmas now.

Christmas musings

I have been feeling a bit melancholy this week. After Sunday's lunch I have been acutely aware of my singleness. I am missing Peter and the intimacy of sharing life's incidentals. Is this still grieving or moving onto a new stage of acceptance and readiness to allow someone else into my life?

Janine thinks I haven't had enough quiet time in my life since Peter died.. Unlike her I had work and Nick living with me for awhile plus I am always so busy that she worried I didn't have enough alone time to grieve. I always believed I had time enough but now I wonder. It has been a roller coaster five years since Peter died. Do you ever stop missing someone you loved so deeply? Do you ever stop shedding tears ?  I know I am not in pain like I was. I can enjoy my lifife on so many levels but lately I have been envious I suppose of those who still have their husbands. I miss Peter. 

In helping Lee Lin explore RSVP and EHarmony dating sites I inadvertently registered on EHarmony and I have been getting these matches sent to me. I freaked out at first but then I got curious and read a few profiles. I haven't paid for access so I don't get pictures, just a brief description. I haven't communicated with anyone yet. It isn't the right time before Christmas with all the functions and socialising. I talked about it with a few girlfriends and they are all encouraging. It is scary. The idea of being with someone after all this time of being with one man and then on my own.  Still you see lots of people who have re-partnered so I shouldn't think it is weird. If you feel your husband was the love of your life, where does that leave the next person? Still that doesn't necessarily preclude having a friend I suppose.. Time will tell.

Saturday 13 December

A week of appointments. Tuesday with Ziggy in tow we collected Uncle Roger from the Freemason's hospital where he had had surgery on his nose and palate to improve his Sleep apnea. We took him shopping and then back to his place in Nth Fitzroy. Theoretically I was supposed to be looking after him but he was feeling good and so ended up making lunch for us. Probably due to morphine patch! Ziggy enjoyed being somewhere different and visiting uncle Roggie! I didn't want to leave Roger till he'd flushed his nose as relquired in case he dislodged too many scab/ clots and haemorrhaged.

That task over I took a sleepy little boy home for his afternoon nap a bit later than usual. 

Ziggy with raspberry on thumb

blowing bubbles in the garden

Next day I had an effective day writing the lectures then a Pilates clas for the first time. It was challenging and wonderful for stretching the body's muscles. I really felt the benefit and will keep it up next year as it is part of the gym.

Thursday a visit to the podiatrist to check on my foot and feel it is improving steadily. Not sore in mornings at least. 

Next stop the optometrist to check eyes. It has been two years and I feel the glasses aren't quite so effective now and my eyes water a lot when I am reading. Good news they haven't deteriorated too much but there is a small change required. Then I had a test to check for glaucoma which involves a puff of air in your eyes now instead of drops. Weird. A check for macular degeneration which was all clear. Phew. Lastly I was tested for retinal changes both the direct nerve and peripheral area. The last showed some sort of shadow which she wants me to follow up. The new machines are more sensitive and the are picking up changes earlier. It is a little concerning but not desperate. Losing your eyesight would be devastating. I reflect on how I have been enjoying the beauty of the jacaranda trees that are in glorious bloom right now around the suburbs. There frothy deep mauve flowers are so startling against the green foliage of other trees. It would be so sad not to be able to see them.

On to dinner with friends at Janine's place. Just a simple catch up but such fun and wonderful conversations. I don't get such wide ranging and thoughtful discussions very often so it is another delight in my week. Home late at midnight.

Friday morning and I decide a swim is desirable after my late night and a delayed start to the morning when Lyn rang for a catch up. We walked the Camino Frances in 2012 together and our long friendship  since primary school was strengthened even more. She lives in Sydney so we don't physically get together very often and I miss her very much. I de died to update the iPad which hasn't been done all the time I have been away and is desperate for a backup. Well that and the phone took me all day practically and now indeed to adjust to the changes.  Why do these things always take longer than you think? I wish I was much more computer savvy too. Sometimes I am not sure what I should be doing. Anyway all completed no lost information and now I need to back up the computer! It never ends. 

Tonight I am meeting Jane D and Helen L for dinner and the show 'I will eat you last ' a conversation with the agent to the stars Sue Mengas played by Miriam Margoyles. She was riveting. Such an accomplished actress she had the audience spellbound.  It was a real treat.

Saturday minding Ziggy again and Sunday lunch at Helen's Estate at Coldstream with the Wild Women of Warrandyte and partners. It was delightful and great to see everyone. Spent some more time with Lorraine afterwards and met her new dog Syd. He is a sleek black cavalier cross Labrador and just gorgeous. Makes me want a dog any yet I feel I am still not home enough. I am getting selfish. We had a dog most of our married life and it would be such good company.

Too old for hangovers

 This was a week full of activity. It started with my last art class for the year where I manged a passable still life and finally got to know one of the other would be artists. We finally got to talking a bit more personally and discovered we were both librarians! We had always felt some empathy towards each other but there was never time to really develop a friendship. I hope Louisa comes back next year as I have booked in for two classes now. Can't wait and will practice over the holiday break.

Next was Ziggy and I having a swim before playing with Abbey at the park. I wasn't sure how he felt about getting his face wet but he loves jumping in and so I will attempt to teach him to swim this summer. There are three Grannies' who attend Mini Maestros who are called the groovy grannies by the teacher! We have started to have coffee together afterwards and then go to the park. It is just as frantic as when we had our own children but we didn't do baby chinos then! In fact we rarely did the cafe scene at all. No money for that and we just all went to the park with a picnic.  We are all subject to cultural change. 

 Ziggy, Abby and Stella mauling Christmas tree.

The rest of the time I spent organising the travel for the wedding in Thailand next year and seeming to spend a lot of money. I still feel a bit anxious at times about my finances. I haven't quite got used to not having a steady income being paid by an employer rather than living off my super.

On Friday I had my first Christmas party. The apartment complex I live in has a'village community group' and we have a party every year as well as other functions during the year. It is a good way to meet new people because despite the number of residents you really don't see many around casually.  

It was a fun party and I met several new people, some are keen walkers  as well. One new friend invited a group of us back to her apartment after the dancing finished when the band packed up. That was great and I even had a dance WITH A MAN for a change! That was novel. We retired to Shelley's place and carried on with the party. She had a vynal collection and we listened to an eclectic mix of music and talked on. By the time it was midnight I knew I had to go home. We had been partying since 6:30. I was feeling a little unsteady on my feet. I haven't mixed my drinks like that for some time or felt that drunk and I was supposed to be babysitting the next day. Not a good mixture!

I crashed but my friend LeeLin was stuck in the lift with the wrong house keys and had to return to Shelley's to retrieve her own in order to get to her floor. The hazards of apartment life. 

At about 6:30 am the fire alarm went off and we were told to evacuate! I sat bolt upright in bed trying to grasp the meaning of this instruction. Still bleary eyed I grabbed my purse, a dressing gown and house keys then bounced off the walls all the way down from the 6 th floor. It was a false alarm due to fumes from the bakery in Coles downstairs and the storm that had passed over early that morning. Needless to say I heard no storm.  While I was contemplating going to the supermarket or the cafés for breakfast in my pjs Jonathan rang to say the early babysitting was not required after all but to come later. Off the hook I retreated to bed again once we were allowed to return. I had wondered whether I was actually safe to drive.   Hangovers are no fun. I couldn't even tolerate vegemite on toast. I ended up having a nutrablast veggie drink.  I have to admit I was not sparking with my usual enthusiasm and it was a pretty quiet day with Ziggy, followed by night babysitting as well while the parents enjoyed a free night at the movies. I am too old for those capers.

Sunday was very quiet until Grace and LeeLin wanted a catchup at the cafe downstairs. Sundays they have live music and we had suggested meeting there Friday night before the party evolved. It was a pleasant afternoon and a chance to get to know Grace better. We got talking about meeting men. LeeLin has been a little depressed and lonely the last few months and we have broached the subject of finding a new companion. She is widowed too but not for as long as me while Grace is divorced and much younger. We are all very nervous about exploring new relationships. 

When we left I invited LeeLin to share dinner with me and we decided to look at some of the dating websites. Another couple who live here had met this way and the wife had suggested Leelin do the same but LeeLin is too nervous and we both talked about whether we were ready to take the plunge or not.  As it turned out I half registered while we explored the sites and now I am getting 'nudges' to  give more info! I feel really awkward and unsure about further involvement so I will let it sit until I feel more ready.

Christmas concerts and Cambodia

I am rather disappointed in myself for letting the blog slide. I really enjoyed keeping track of my doings and feelings while I was walking but since I have returned I have not found the 'right' time for writing and I think I have felt that it is probably boring to other people. I have also had difficulty uploading my photos as well.  Technology is a wonderful thing but also challenging and a fickle friend.
The weeks seem to be flying past and I have done so much since the last post.
My bushwalking friends booked a lodge up at Mt Buller, about two hours north east of Melbourne in the Alpine region, for the Melbourne Cup weekend. This is really only one day but it usually morphs into a weekend away because Melbourne Cup is a holiday (in Melbourne only) and it is on the first Tuesday in November.  It is the horse race that stops a nation for the two minutes it takes to run! We usually get away on a Friday and return on Tuesday evening but this year I was going away to HongKong on Tuesday morning so we all returned on the Monday.  We intended to do some day bush walks rather than camp and hike as we used to do. We are not organising the long walks we loved  to undertake a few years ago now that we all have grandchildren and travel overseas a lot more.
Buller was unexpectedly cold but beautiful.  It snowed which was magical but did pose an issue for walks.  We ended up painting and drawing as three of us have embarked on art programs over the last two years. It was such fun to work with friends like  this.  We also did a lot of talking, eating and drinking of course. Walk? We managed a couple over the weekend then it was back to Melbourne and my trip to HongKong and Cambodia

 Sunday Mt BullerMonday Mt Buller!

I flew to Hong Kong for the birthday of Eileen,  Peter's cousin. It was a lot of fun meeting her friends from, Vancouver, Malaysia, New York, Scotland, Hong Kong plus spending time with my brothers and sisters -in -laws, her sister Kathleen and daughter Kate who I had visited in Kent as well as
the Aussie cousins from South Australia. Hong Kong was still experiencing the protests which are disrupting bus routes and general transport. They are very tidy with their tents all in a neat row.

Eileen had organised a cruise to Po Toi Island where we swam, hiked and of course ate great seafood. It was a fun day and we also paid tribute to Peter's  Aunt who's ashes had been spread around here. We all threw flowers onto the water. It was very rough past the island so the boat was tossing and rolling but calmed once we went into the cove to go ashore.

The restaurant was very humble but the fish and seafood served was so delicious. Cousin Lawrie had a great time helping to serve the food.  

 The   trip back was calm and it was interesting seeing the city lights.

Next day was the actual party and what a hoot that turned out to be. Eileen was piped in with bagpipes,  two of her god sons performed rap dances with great flair and then we had karaoke. Each table had to perform a song. It was such fun and we danced all night. Such a happy occasion.
Friday after was a shopping day in Hong Kong and then off to Cambodia.
In Cambodia we met Sister Helene who runs a charity that assists young girls to recover from being abandoned or trafficked in the sex trade. We were privileged to visit her hostel and a hospice for palliative care. The group(except for Anthea, Lawrie, Karen and myself)  that went to Cambodia with Eileen were all school friends who had been taught by Sister Helene at high school in Hong Kong.

 

They were all wanting to help her project in Cambodia and it was such a warm reunion. We were all inspired.
After visiting with Sister we went to the Palace, the killing fields, and the genocide museum. It was a
sobering experience. Phnom Penh, and the rest of Cambodia, is still in recovery from the Pol Pot regime.  It is a country literally rebuilding itself and very poor still. After being in Europe and Hong Kong it is quite shocking to see how poor and humble the lives of the Cambodians are. Despite this they are very eager to do a good job and be helpful to tourists.

 We flew to Siem Reap  to visit the temples of Angor Wat and Banyon, Angor Thom and others. They are so mysterious and grand. It was fascinating to learn about the history of these buildings and the civilisation that created them. I was particularly interested because most of it was built over the sane period as the castles in Spain (9th to 12th century). It was extremely hot and after a couple of days we were templed out and rearranged our program to visit the floating village on Tonle Lake. That was fascinating as it really is a floating village; schools, churches, police station, supermarket all floating.
They shelter in behind mangroves as the lake is so large you can't see to the other side at all. Most are Vietnamese fisherfolk but to be honest I am not sure I would be wanting to eat the fish. Some fish are farmed right beside the houseboats and that means everything is in the water. Despite that the
houseboats are kept neat and even have plants and are painted brightly. We are so privileged but I am sure they are happier.

 

Back to Siem Reap and I was very keen to see silk made. I had silkworms as a child but never made a thing with the cocoons(that I recall anyway). We visited a silk'factory' and saw the whole process. It was fascinating and so interesting and labour intensive. These artisan training places give training and work to the most undereducated young people and are also trying to revive the craft skills that were decimated by PolPot. After seeing how hard the women worked at the silk spinning we felt that the price for the silk products was not so outrageous after all and spent quite a bit!

Back to Phnom Penh and dinner at the Foreign Correspondents Club Bar, which is an institution and has photos from the war period up the walls. There was a Japanese guy there who we asked to take our photo. He had been puzzling over us as a group and offered. He was an ex journo.
Back to Hong Kong and a bit of shopping then home to Melbourne. A whirlwind trip but interesting and fun getting to know new people.
I had no sooner arrived then an SOS from Jonathan asking me to mind Ziggy while they did a photo
shoot on the same day for Common Dust their new Tshirt/clothing business. Just as well Hong Kong is mostly in the same time zone and I don't  get jet lag!
Since then I have been applying myself to writing the two units for the library degree and we had Ziggy's Christmas concert for Mini Maestros. Grandma and Ziggy  with the rest of his class had to perform in front of lots of parents and the Muneri/Leong entourage. Ziggy has been rather shy to start in his classes but not here! He was waving to his Aunties and parents and a veritable show pony! He was thrilled to receive his Blue and gold ribbon. Grandma didn't do too badly either, kept in tune, and in sync with the movements.

The entourage from the right, other grandmother,  Regina( GoGo), Chipewa Clare's sister, Clare, Jonathan and Ziggy.

My art has branched out to watercolours. I love it but I am learning how difficult a medium it is when you know nothing. It requires patience and consideration which is quite a challenge for me. My usual style is to leap in and start splashing about but this is a gentle art and I am intrigued by that. My late husband used a frog as my symbol on the family computer. He had a red sports car, Jonathan had a skateboard and Nick had a guitar. When I asked why I got a frog, he explained it was because I was a
great one for jumping into everything. I couldn't disagree and decided it was symbolic of my general enthusiasm for life and saw it as a compliment. It isn't necessarily the best way to approach watercolours but I am sticking with it.

 I have only had a few lessons so no Van Gogh but hopefully potential for improvement.

Ziggy work and travel

Minding Ziggy has become a wonderful experience as we establish our little routines. We visit the cafés after music for baby chino and he charms the staff by being so friendly. His "hullo lady " greeting or his wave gives everyone a smile.  Life is so much fun when you are confident and outgoing. My twins were way more reserved and so this is such a different experience.
His mum has gone to Africa for the funeral of her grandfather so Ziggy needs a few more days of my time and he misses his Mum. He is still happy but a little more prone to needing cuddles. He is two also and starting to assert himself more!
I am trying to write the 24 lectures for the library degree but it is going much slower than I anticipated. I won't finish before I go to Hong Kong and Cambodia that is for sure.

Getting sick is no fun

This week started so well with art and Ziggy. He loves the Mini Maestros program we attend. I have to make an elephant trunk for one of the songs. I made it from grey tights and it seems pretty good. He certainly loves swinging it like an elephant!
I didn't wash some Rebs properly and gave myself a fearful bout of diarrhoea. I thought I was going to pass out. It took about three days to recover. It was a good warning about how to get an ambulance crew into the building . I followed up with the building manager to find out what the protocol is in an emergency. My place is like Fort Knox to get into!
 Anyway I was well enough to join the tour of the wholesale fruit and flower markets I had booked a couple if weeks earlier. I needed to be up by 5:30 am and when we arrived at 6:00 am it was starting to get quiet. Peak activity is at 3/4in the morning. Soon this market will move to the outer suburbs and be less accessible. The group went to breakfast at a new cafe up the road from our apartment complex that gas started up while I was overseas. Very nice and very busy. A little inner city chic.

Flowers from Asia and Sth Africa

Chillis

This creative life is wonderful

I have replanted  and rearranged my balcony garden. What a satisfying task. It took me two whole days to complete. Imagine me astride a four foot Yacca plant feet clamped to either side of the planter pulling and pushing to little avail with dirt falling all around. In the end I had to hack at the roots with my trusty trowel to dislodge this giant plant from the planter.  You know how it feels? Halfway through the job you wish you hadn't started but you've gone too far to turn back? I reminded myself I walked a thousand kilometres and more this year one step at a time, one day at a time. I can finish. I did and then cleaned up, and got rid of the offending plant.
When you only have a balcony you can't leave a mess! Next day more mess as I planted up my vegetables and flowers. I am a happy little gardener and the lettuces are coming on really well. I will be picking leaves pretty soon.
I started a drawing class which I have found so exhilarating. I just love it. The class is unstructured but the teacher is very good at giving individual instruction. I have faced my fears and drawn a portrait for the first time. It was very challenging but I was thrilled with the result. This class is a great way to start a week. I walk out so happy and I can see my drawing improving every week.

Week one of the new routine

Monday I started my drawing class.  Confronted with a blank page I nearly fled.  I remember that feeling from my first ever lesson and acknowledged the fear, then put it behind me. My first lines on the page were a bit average  and then I just let go and focused on looking at the objects and trying to remember the things I learned last year. At the end of the two hour class I felt so happy! I had managed a pretty decent  representation of the lemons and the horrible/difficult shell and leaves. I felt  such a sense of exhilaration and exhaustion. That is a good way to start the week.
Tuesday I took Ziggy to Mini Maestros a kids music program. Our little extrovert loves music and was eager to participate even though it was his first time. He will end up playing an instrument for sure and he loves to dance. It was such fun though I am the Grandma amongst the mums.
Ziggy made me laugh when he waved to the sparrows and said hullo with such conviction I almost thought he might have seen Peter's spirit. When I walked the Camino Frances I often felt Peter ( my husband) was with me when little birds sang as I walked along. They always sang when I felt tired or a bit discouraged and never flew away until I passed them.
Life away from the Camino is so very busy. It is rich in relationships and activities which are interesting and fun. I miss being out doors though.  Perhaps I can walk more in the parks around home.

All my good intentions are flying out the door

It has been four weeks since I posted any news.  Not having a regular schedule for writing is not good. I have to admit I am still in return and catch up phase but that came to an end when I returned from Queensland.  Mum came down for Ziggy's second birthday which was a lot of fun and she had a few days helping me babysit as well so that was a bonus for her. It was touching to see Ziggy and my ninety year old Mum together.
He is a budding footballer and they were sharing the kicking of balls. The actual party was a stellar affair and Ziggy handed out cake to all without dropping any which I think is quite amazing for a two year old. He has hit the 'It's mine' phase so we are reminding him about sharing all the time. Then it was back to Queensland and catching up with cousins: Tracey who completed the Camino Frances while I was on the Via de la Plate, Jan who I travelled with in Croatia and Diane who is the ex travel agent and font of wisdom. This whirlwind visit left both Mum and I weary. I forget she is ninety and I think I finally started to come back to earth.
My return to Melbourne and a quiet week at last allowed me to post gifts to France, book the car for service, get my medical check ups sorted, complete my Tax return, finalise my Hong Kong Cambodia trip and travel insurance and finally, ATTACKED the DESK! It is a daunting job because I need to throw out stuff and dispose of the old computers.
Strangely I found an overwhelming desire to wash the filthy windows and outdoor furniture instead. Procrastination lurks everywhere even in virtuous tasks. The windows look amazing and the desk is clear. The lounge room is cluttered with detritus from the desk but I can't stand it so it will go quickly.
What I faced this week was no social engagements and I was a bit lost. I needed to get to this though, because I need to find the balance between fun and repose.  It was peaceful and I reminded myself I want quiet time too.
How to spend my time is interesting because work takes up so much of it. I am aghast at what I managed to fit in before and know I was semi manic.  I love the calm I feel these days and just keep reminding myself I will get to everything on my list in good time.  I wanted to take up drawing again and I need to get started on the writing of the library units. They are a priority now.

Third week back- how did I fit in work?

This week was a monster socially busy time. I haven't found a regular time for writing the blog so the week seems to whizz by and I am losing track of my thoughts and feelings about my new status. The two regular activities so far are minding Ziggy on Tuesdays and going to the gym in the mornings.
I have been challenged by the news of my cousin who has been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. It has devastated us all. He is such a gentle, kind and honourable person that the thought of losing him is too sad. What is even more scary is he was so well before the diagnosis.
A reminder to treat everyday as special and to be grateful for what each day offers.
I caught up with a friend who is moving homes and we walked from her current place to the flat she is selling, then to the new place she has bought and back to where we started. We talked so much I barely registered where we went direction wise. We walked briskly so I had a good workout even with lunch along the way. I felt so good afterwards and we had walked 16.1 kms.  When I heard that, I felt virtuous as well! No guilt over the brownie for afternoon tea. My body was loving the mini Camino.
I collected a pile of books on Libraries and the industry to research for the units I am writing for work. I need to get started on that task if it is to be finished by November.
I finally stopped  umming and arhhing about mum coming down from Queensland for Ziggy's birthday and my returning to Queensland for a few days with her, and also the trip to HongKong and Cambodia.  After my cousin's sudden diagnosis I decided life is too short and it will be a great opportunity to spend time with the extended family.
Friday morning I  went to see Boyhood, the movie with a group of girlfriends. Several of us had sons so we related so well to the character and had such stimulating discussion about the movie and its themes that I almost ran out of time to make a salad for dinner with friends that night. My friends who live near and were also going to dinner offered to take me which was so thoughtful. During the evening one took ill and left early so I took a taxi home. Later I discovered she had been so ill they went to the emergency at the hospital and was diagnosed with a lung infection! She was sent home with antibiotics, but what a fright.
 I was out again with friends on Saturday night celebrating my return with a fabulous dinner to which
we all contributed  two delicious salads and discovered my host likes whisky. He has an interesting collection of single malts and varieties of whisky of which we had tastings. It was so interesting and tasty. I would love to walk the Whisky Trail in Scotland sometime. Needless to say I took the backstreets home just in case I got  breathalysed. I felt fine but could have been close to the .05 limit.
Sunday dawned and I whipped. Around with the vacumn and cleared up the spare room for Mum  who was arriving at 12:30 pm.  After collecting her from the airport, a spot of lunch it was off to the hospital to visit my cousin.  Anxious as we all are it was wonderful to see all the family. We spent a couple if hours both in the ICU and in the waiting room catching up then it was off to dinner with my brothers-in-law in Box Hill South at a great little Chinese restaurant. The food was delicious, the hostess was charming and very excited as they were going to China the next day for a holiday and food research tour to bring back new recipes for the restaurant.
Finally home. My ninety year old mother Edna was a bit weary as was I after such a busy week.
There hasn't been much downtime or time for reflection. This pace is too familiar and what I was wanting to avoid when I returned. I am able to pace myself better and 'real Life ' is much more unpredictable and consequently more challenging. These two factors  will constantly test my resolve to be calm and peaceful.

The best intentions...

Monday felt strange not going to work. How easy it is to slip into the old mindset! On my list however I did make a start. I went to the Gym for an hour and added a walk around the block afterwards as well. I found a gorgeous young electrician parked in the driveway of the apartment complex when I returned. He had dreadlocks and a bit of a Johnny Diepe look and was willing to fix the transformer in the downlight today. It has been broken for 8 months and I just never got around to getting it fixed. Gosh if I was thirty years younger or a hell of a lot bolder I would have flirted shamelessly with him. Anyway he sent the apprentice up instead, who was also handsome but not quite so sparkling. Still both angels as far as I was concerned. Now there is light!
Then it has been a week of Ziggy.  He has been off child care because of a funny tummy and I stepped in to mind him the extra days. We have had a great time and resumed a close relationship but it  was tiring especially as I am not in my home but his.
I started to feel frustrated with not making progress on my BIG PICTURE plans before I regained my Camino perspective. I do not need to do everything today!

Return to reality

After five months away from Australia, from home, I have had a week at home.  It is spring in Melbourne and blossoms are everywhere. The air is warm and fragrant, a wonderful welcome home. It has been a mad week with me trying to catch up with my dearest family and friends and not quite into the rhythm of day and night in the Southern Hemisphere. I am sleeping soundly but without the imperative of work my body is not waking early like I usually do.
I managed book club, a day babysitting from 7:15 am till late,  two days sorting the months of mail, phone calls, a return to the workplace, two lunch dates with friends and hosting a dinner party.  A lot of fun but perhaps a touch over the top. Living at home rather than travelling is a more complex experience and has different challenges.
How do I feel about being home? It is exciting. I am full of energy, with lots of plans for the coming months. I have a LIST.  I see it as essential for me to keep moving forward. We will see how many things on the list are accomplished!
It is rather nice being re-acquainted with my wardrobe after months of the same and limited choice in clothes. I feel like I want to throw most of it out though and pare back to a minimal wardrobe. I have lost weight and some things look great now which is confidence boosting. There is just too much! Now I am retired I won't need so many clothes and besides a lot of them are well worn and it is time to DECLUTTER! My new mantra, simplify, simplify. I have time and energy at last to go through my cupboards.
Going to my workplace and ending up there all day was a good reminder of why I needed to leave.  It is a pressure cooker and not a nice modern red one,  but a grey old burner. Still I have come away with a writing contract which will be done from home over the next three months. The pocket money will pay for the last few months travel.
It seems very odd to not have to go to work on Monday.  This week will be the beginning of my new reality.  Monday I start on the list. I also need to remember I don't have to do it all tomorrow.  Balancing time and activity to maintain this wonderful feeling of peace and equilibrium will be a major challenge for me. Roll on the new reality.
The  first reality check: a new kettle is required.  The answer to an electrical surge which stopped the dishwasher last night was revealed this evening.  I have been out most of the day and decided to just do an instant coffee. Turned on kettle and walked away to turn on TV, came back and poured, cold water. The element  has broken. That was what set the surge off last night. Much cheaper to replace than a dishwasher!