12 th November
It has been a " normal" week although I haven't achieved very much. I am still pretty tired in a low key way. Had dinner with Jane and reminiscing about Mum brought up unfinished business for her over her own mother's passing. I had the same effect with LeeLin who has a lot of bitterness and unresolved grief over her husbands manner of passing. I feel like I am an instrument of the universe in releasing these built up feelings somehow.
Kim and David and I took the train up to Ballarat to see the 2016 Archibald exhibition. This is a national portrait competition and always interesting. The winner was a portrait of Deng a Sudanese refugee who has become a lawyer here in Australia. It is a realistic style and so powerful and precise it looks almost like a photograph but more alive. Exceptional.
I also went with Roger, my brother in law, to see the Tony Matecevski exhibition at Bendigo last Sunday. His two friends Chris and Rodney drove us and it was also an exceptional day. Fabulous, creative clothes. This designer was the creator of Clare's wedding dress. Elegant but interesting garments. Well,perhaps I did accomplish a fair bit this week after all?! I managed to fit in lots of Ziggy time as well.
I was hoping to set up a meeting with Rob too but he wasn't that interested and that brought up the issue of how deep do you go with someone. I have grown fond of him and thought it would be nice to spend a bit more time together. Most of our dates have been to the movies or gallery and dinner. I have had a couple of short visits to his place. I wasn't always completely at ease with him, which I put down to us being in a learning to get to know you phase. He has been happy to introduce me to his friends but seemed reluctant to meet mine. We had a discussion about our friendship, the outcome of which I probably expected. He only wants superficial and I want and need something a bit deeper. We are still friends and he will keep in touch but there is no future there. I enjoyed his difference and honesty and he was a kind and generous companion but his emotions are so guarded and he is basically content with his life as it is. He had always said he didn't want to be special in any ones life. I gave it a shot but after three months with Mum I had hoped for a warmer welcome home. If I learned nothing else from Mum it is that love is essential to life. It didn't happen so move on. There is a new year around the corner and new opportunities.
