Reflections on being restless

I don't think I am dwelling on Mum's diagnosis but it probably touches deep memories of Peter's illness and also the loss of not having that person close anymore.  
It is the uncertainty I think that underpins the restlessness. In reality I like to plan ahead, even if loosely and I am ready to be flexible,  but now I just have to let the future unfold as it will. Letting go of control is always tough, even if that control is really an illusion anyway.

This mood always makes me want to throw on the backpack and go walking. I suppose it is the physical and emotional calm that walking induces and the simplifying of your life for awhile. 

Why am I such a body of contradictions? People oriented, love new experiences yet  I long for quiet and peace too.

Well it is all part of my journey, my personal Camino I suppose, to find that balance. 

Writing does make me feel calmer.