The staff are lovely and the place is very caring and warm. I have been visiting everyday just keeping Mum company while the care is done by the staff. I need to be here to monitor mum and talkk with the doctors because Mum does forget or feels somewhat overwhelmed. Poor thing had been constipated for five days and the medicine they gave her caused her to lose control and she was so upset and humiliated but the staff were all so good and praising her for getting it out! This is what you come too. Old age is not for the faint hearted.
She has improved in some ways but is also tiring more and more. Her concentration wanders now so playing scrabble is a challenge as the game goes on. We have had two games this week. She is quite happy but somewhat impatient about the time it is taking to die. She said next time I a coming back with curly hair, long legs and a heart attack!
They have a support dog who visits and so I asked them to come to Mum. She is such a dog lover and it really made her day to have a visit from this little fellow Kimba.
The next day it was the drinks trolley at 5pm. She could have whatever she liked so we selected a gin and tonic. Mum really enjoyed it. I only had two sips! Funny how the alcohol is easy to imbibe. Mum has enjoyed a drink but never been a heavy drinker ever and so it is intriguing that the alcohol is much easier to take than food or even tea sometimes. Her taste buds are very affected by the illness. Mum is still not in pain though she suffers some nausea now and today I found she had a cannula in her arm for anti nause medicine. Her medicine dosage is low with a minimal amount of morphine to inhibit the coughing she found so distressing.
My neohew Matthew and his wife Hisayo came up from Canberra to see mum and say farewell. She was so pleased to see them and hear about their new house and their future plans. When they went to leave Hisayo broke down, then Mat got tears as well as Patti(his mother and my brothers ex).
Mum was so sad that Hisayo was upset. She always wanted to encourage her and be there for her. Hisayo is Japanese and has struggled with English and settling in Australia. Mum was telling her how important she is to the family. Mum and I talked afterwards about how we can almost pretend death is not around the corner. We can't spend every day in tears but we don't dwell on the future either.
I am reading a book by Julie Kirkpatrick called the Camino letters and I thought what I am doing here with Mum is another Camino. I have put everything and everybody on hold to be here and day by day journey with Mum. I feel restless sometimes and miss my friends, my family, Ziggy especially. I miss my life really but I aiso don't want to be anywhere else either. I am as committed to this journey as I was to the Via de la Plata or the Camino France's. I wonder if being here is useful and helpful sometimes and then Mum and I share a joke and hold hands and I know it matters. Every day I leave she thanks me for being here. It is a privilege.
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