13 September Brisbane

I have taken a different way to the hospital over the last couple of days which has been visually pleasing and a treat when I saw a water dragon too.  It is along the river and very soothing to walk through parks and  under trees.

It had been refreshing and I have started to feel more at peace.

Mum is steadily declining but not uncomfortable. Her ability to concentrate is being challenged but we still have a game of scrabble a couple of times a week. I have introduced her to a new app game and yesterday I tried doing some drawing which she critiqued. 

Scrabble was funny because she is less able to play strategically and the last few moves I ended up helping her and managed to beat myself! That caused us to have a good laugh. 

We talked about my being with her every day. I had promised I wouldn't leave her on her own and while she said it was too much to promise she was so glad that I come every day. It is a journey we are doing together and I feel happy to be here.

 I have let go of my life in Melbourne for the time being and that is a relief too strangely. The sense that mum was going to die any moment a couple of weeks ago has passed and now it seems to be a slow, steady decline. She is having anti nausea medication to stop her being sick at the smell of food, though the quantity she eats is not improving.

The doctors gave her about six weeks but it seems like it might be longer. I have given up wondering and just take every day as it comes. 

Today I am having a day off after arranging an alternative visitor. I need a break and to see the world around me as well as post off a present to Ziggy. I won't be making his birthday this year. He is having a KISS band themed party would you believe. A rocker in the making for sure!