August 3

The day's slip by easily as we gradually find a rhythm together. Last Sunday we had a multitude of visitors which proved exhausting to Mum despite her pleasure in seeing them all. Firstly cousin Tracey and husband John dropped in for a quick visit which was great for me too as they shared a little book of photos from their Camino Frances.  Soon they were followed by nephew Scott, his Mother Patti and girlfriend Heidi. Tracey and John departed and the others stayed for lunch and in the hope of seeing Jonathan and Clare and Ziggy. They were up for a wedding at Noosa but were coming to see Mum too. Unfortunately they were not leaving Noosa till later than expected so the others left around 4pm. By now Mum was looking really tired and I suggested a rest until Jonathan and Clare arrived. 

Eventually we had dinner and they turned up about 8 pm.  Ziggy was so chirpy it really lifted mum's spirits. Lots more talking and then we were all tired and went to bed. Mum shared my room that night and didn't sleep so well in the single bed. I was conscious of her breathing and didn't sleep too well either. We were both overexcited as well.

Next morning they spent with Mum before leaving about 10:30 to catch their flight. The painting ladies had arrived in time to meet the " golden child Ziggy" and so Mum was happy but thoroughly exhausted. I sent her off to bed where she slept soundly for an hour or so. When she woke she had recovered somewhat but it was a lesson to me that even visitors are exhausting and need to be tempered.

Tuesday we went to the oncologist. The taxi came as ordered and was driven by a young Pakistani student who was charming and an entertaining conversationalist. He is working to get his points for permanent residence and loves life in Australia. His English was good and barely accented which he attributed to talking to so many seniors while driving the taxi.

At the hospital I found a wheel chair and proceeded to the X-rays department befor retracing our route and heading to Dr Belinski, the oncologist in the specialist wing. Using the wheelchair was such a help for mum. The doctor noted the tumour had not grown much and that mum's oxygen levels were 98% and therefore she didn't warrant supplementary oxygen. It didn't explain her breathlessness very well except that her body is just wearing out at 92 and with cancer. The doctor mentioned that any chest infections now would likely kill her and even with antibiotics she was likely to fail. She also asked what Mum wanted to do about the end of life stage, to stay home or go into palliative care? I said I was here for as long as needed and that we wanted to keep mum home as long as we could manage her needs. The doctor was very forthright and said we only had about two or three months and that Mum would just get more and more breathless. 

We were accepting of this as it isn't new and after returning home we played a couple of games of scrabble and just got on with life. Mum is much reassured to have constant company and I feel content to be here. I updated my brothers and we all recognised that despite our calm we are all going to be devastated when the time comes. My elder brother Peter has further worry with his wife also extremely unwell. Ann has been in and out of hospital  over the last six weeks eventually having a feeding tube inserted into her stomach to try to supplement her meals and build her up from her extreme underweight. The doctors have suspicion that she may have something sinister in her lungs too so she is back in hospital to investigate that. She has been a heavy smoker and drinker for years so we would not be surprised if she also has lung cancer but it is a heavy burden for my brother.

I miss my friends and my life at home  in Melbourne but I am glad to be here. 

One of the funny things is working through Mum's pantry and fridge. It is a standing joke that she could live out of both for a months if there was a food crisis. Mum always says in her defense she is a farmer's daughter and a well stocked pantry is usual as well as the fact she is not able to just pop out for groceries. She does go shopping once a week however! While looking for some meat for dinner in the freezer I found a plastic container of dark purple 'something'! I defrosted it to discover it was mulberries from mum's tree in the old house! They have been there for seven years but I cooked them up and we had them with ice cream as dessert and they were fine. The next night Peter came for dinner and I 'liberated' a pack of beef for stir fry and followed that with the rest of the mulberries supplemented with apple as a mulberry and apple crumble. The beef was not so good as it had been frost burnt I think even though it was only six months old! Super aged beef. Mulberry and apple crumble delicious. There are dints in the fridge and pantry beginning to appear.  I have to be subtle though so as not to offend Mum.