Concerned about Mum

Mum has been travelling well despite the spread of her cancer to the liver. On the weekend she had a very sore and swollen ankle and I thought it might be a blood clot or burst blood vessel because she couldn't  recall hurting it. I was relieved to have her visit the doctor yesterday and find it was a burst vessel. Her attitude was, her veins are old and weak.  I suppose so but it is concerning. She visits the oncologist today and we will hear more of her progress. The good thing is that she is feeling well anyway. 

I saw the movie " The lady in the van" and found it rather sad, even though it is funny in parts. Alan Bennet who allowed her to stay in his driveway for 15 years, wrote the story and he seemed kind but so passive. The neighbours accepted her presence which I found really quite tolerant. I can imagine that so many other places might have called in the council to have her removed but they let her stay. She was a mysterious woman and it was confronting to see how people can fall so low when mentally unwell. It is confronting when we see any homeless people. I felt rather disturbed after seeing it. 

I have a busy week ahead with lunches, dinners and guests coming to stay. It is a bit overwhelming how busy I seem to have become again.

I finished my street scene watercolour and feel reasonably happy with the result. Always room for improvement of course but I am getting better slowly.

I am still pondering this relationship with the country boy. I like him a lot. I know he finds me attractive and desirable and generally good company, and he is starting to let down his barriers more.  I sometimes want more than I think he is prepared to give emotionally, so I am wondering if I should be patient or look elsewhere. I am such an impatient person in many ways. Just letting it evolve is hard when we are so far apart and only see each other irregularly.  

This uncertainty is such a part of new relationships until you finally make some sort of commitment I suppose.  

Drawing and painting and work.

I finally finished the accreditation material for the Library Panel and look forward to some discussions about it with the others.

I have had a great Sunday at an Art Workshop. It was a life drawing focussed workshop and I felt so excited by the end. I managed a couple of good studies and was so elated. My art Teacher is heading to Beijing for two months then on to Europe so we will miss her. She is so encouraging and wants us to be 'loose' with our drawing. It is so different from my watercolour class though Dorothy wants us to be freeer there too. It is challenging to let loose but the results are pretty good when I do!

I am going to work really hard on this skill so that I become confident and competent!

Rob rang to say he was passing through Melbourne on the way to Adelaide and wanted to catch up. That was a nice interlude. Still not sure where it is heading but liking the journey so far. Damn there is an evacuation call coming through the buildings's PA.  Can't smell smoke but better go. 

Reedy Flat Victoria

I travelled up to Sale and met Rob. I was really pleased with the drive and felt a sense of achievement. I picked up his prints from the framers on the way and still made good time.  We met up at the motel. I was a bit tentative because I thought we might not feel the same after such a gap but I was delighted to find we both felt the same. We went off to the German Expressionist Exhibition opening but we had missed the talk which was disappointing.  I met a few local artists that Rob knew and ended up with having our photo taken next to one of the art works for the local paper. I was surprised at how diverse the art scene is around east Gippsland. We went on to dinner at an Austrian Restaurant where the cook was the owner, an Austrian woman. Rob got her talking and we couldn't t stop her. He has an easy way with people, for someone who doesn't chat much!

Next day we visited a friend of his at Seaspray. I went there once camping with Peter and the kids. It is at the base of the 100 mile beach which is a 100 mile straight stretch of surf and sand. His friend Sue is another accomplished artist and an amazing woman. She has had such a varied life, nurse, dairy farmer, cook, artist. She is afflicted with scleroderma a disease of the connective tissue which has resulted in the loss of her lower legs below the knees and the tips of her fingers. She has only got movement in her first finger and her thumb but she still paints fabulous water colours, and oils. 

I found her a most interesting and inspiring woman and we got on very well.  Rob had taken her dogs for a walk which is what he always does when he visits. He showed her his print that he is intending to enter in a local competition. He obviously values her opinion. 

Next stop was Bairnsdale for some shopping but Rob suggested as we had the two cars I go on ahead to his Mum's place at Ensay near Reedy Flat and we meet up there. His Mum lives in a renovated pub which is now an art gallery for Rob's work. It is a lovely old building and Beth was pleased to show me around both inside and out in the garden. Rob arrived with groceries for his mum after an hour or so and by then Beth and I were quite comfortable with each other. 

There are no shops close by as we are in a very small country village and then Rob took the dogs for a walk( this is his usual routine apparently!)

Finally we went off to his place further into the bush.

A view from the road leading to Rob's place.

He has 200 hectares of bush stretching from a ridge between Mt Possum and Mt Wong. The kangaroos come in both morning and night, the birds are prolific and lizards and bats as well as the odd snake abound.  It is a very peaceful place. His home is very rustic, reminiscent of many homes built during the 1980s in Warrandyte where I used to live. He built it himself with his builder brother-in-law. The windows are all reclaimed lead light.  It is basic but homely and comfortable. I loved it. Wood fired hot water and all. He is off the grid with solar electricity and gas fridge and small gas stove as well.

Although hot down by the coast it was rather cool here and I had to borrow a windcheater because I hadn't packed any warm clothes. We had a long walk to the ridge on the following day and later took some of my chocolate cake to share with his Mum in the afternoon. I loved the slow pace and peace of the bush.  It is so relaxing. The round building is his studio where he paints or makes linocut prints.  His dog Flash was a bit put out that he couldn't sit in the front seat of the car when we went to visit! He accepted me by the Monday when I was leaving!  

It was a sweet weekend and I hope not too long before another. 

The challenge of new friends

I have been pursuing my country romance from a distance and that has its challenges. Communication through phone and email is so much more influenced by tone and the implied meaning of the message. It is sometimes difficult to be sure you are both on the same wavelength. 

I was looking forward to visiting his part of the country this weekend but it has become somewhat more complicated by a death in the extended family.

The funeral is on Friday when I had hoped to be in Sale. Now I will go later in the day and probably miss visiting my friends in Maffra which is on the way. I was going to stay overnight with them on Thursday but now it may be a quick visit only.

I haven't done much country driving for awhile and so feel a bit rusty. It is three hours and hopefully the traffic isn't too bad. I am supposed to pick up some art work in Morwell on the way. It is funny in that I feel like I am part of his life yet not.  I am excited to see him again. 

Nick my son has requested the address where I will be staying. He is quite protective which is sweet and sensible. If anything happened on the way to or from, they have an idea of my whereabouts at least  I suppose. 

I have volunteered to assist a community organisation to catalogue their photgraphs. It will be an interesting project and I can work from home. I also said I would help Refugees with their English and job interview skills. That could be interesting. I have two art classes underway and Ziggy on Tuesday nights and all day Wednesday. The week is pretty full. I am happy with the balance but I need to put a break on anything else now. 

Rhythm of Life

First week of February and I feel like my life is back on track after the freewheeling holidays. I have started my art classes again and feel such excitement that I just want to keep painting. I have volunteered to help out an organisation that assists people to transition from work to retirement. I will be doing some cataloguing of their photos so it feels good to be helping and using my skills too.

Book club had its first meeting and we had a very vigorous discussion over 'A little life'. We all decided it was a profound read and very importantly, well written. 

I have been struggling with hay fever for the last two weeks and resorted to taking antihistamines daily. My eyes were streaming and crusty in the mornings. Yuk and uncomfortable. I postponed giving blood because I thought I was sick but in the end I think it was just hayfever. I never used to suffer this but I do now.

I have been fascinated with the city skyline over the last two weeks. The changing moods are quite intriguing and I have taken lots of photos. Today it looks like a gauze lays over the city because it is almost white and the buildings seem soft grey without any distinct lines.

I am still working on getting the second bedroom set up and the excess 'stuff' moved from the wardrobe  and the lounge room. It is a slow business or rather a boring task and I keep taking lots of breaks. I have been feeling quite tired from resuming the gym  and other regular activities. Going too hard as usual! 

I finally told my sons that I was going to start dating and they went through all the cautionary rhetoric that made me smile inwardly. Particularly the bit about weirdos and it not being like it was in ' my day'. It is rather sweet and amusing having your grown up children giving you advice! In the end they were okay with the idea though Nick announced (smiling)he would probably kill anyone who hurt me! Very protective.

I am resolved to really get my financial house in order so that I have a very clear picture of my circumstances and can manage it better than I am now. 

The end of the holidays

Last week was full on with my friend from the country down and visits from Roger from Sydney which precipitated Yum Cha with the family.  I squeezed in a walk along the river which was delightful even though it was wet. You can feel very 'in rhe bush' down by the river as it is so peaceful hidden row boatsreflections on the river.
I have seen enough movies to earn a free pass after all the visitors this week!  

I have yet to get my lounge room organised but as I am not working I am not stressing over that task. I have needed to organise a lot of appointments so it seems like the holiday period is over. The kids go back to school next week which is the official end of summer holidays. 

It was Australia Day on Tuesday and I wasn't feeling good with a sore throat but in the end I was sick of myself as well and took off to the open day at Government House, which I had never visited and then to the National Gallery of Victoria to see the Ai WeiWei and Andy Warhol exhibition. There were lots of antique cars on display leading up to Government House which was interesting too.

The classic Monaro

Ai WeiWei Caonima Balloon Bird Balloo installations.

government house 1876

Had Ziggy as usual and visited with my friend Jane who has a little West Highland terrior which Ziggy was keen to take for a walk to the park. He discovered that Blackie was quite strong and it isn't quite as easy as it looks but he loved him and learned about how dogs get to know you by sniffing and licking. We had a lovely time at her place. Ziggy watered the vegetables, rolled in the grass and ate lots. I had to remind him that he wasn't at home and couldn't just assume he could ask for whatever he wanted. When we left he spontaneously burst out with a ' thank you for having me' and gave lots of bye byes. I was so proud of him.

I have missed time with my girlfriends which is a new feeling.  Being free to just ring and say lets have dinner and a movie  was something I took for granted. The ensuing chit chat is always interesting and broad of topic. My idea to extend my circle of friends to include opportunities to meet men is good in theory but quite hard to actually achieve and the effort required  is enormous. Makes me wonder if I really want to. 

I have volunteered to assist with some cataloguing for a Life Activities Organisation and also to be part of a focus group as well. It is a foray into a new world away from work. I need to be careful not to book up my time because I want to get writing and painting this year. I have to keep focused!

Mum's cancer has moved to her liver which was disappointing but inevitable. She is still well and not inclined to take any treatment but I have finally decided not to go to the UK after all. The trip to Japan is as far as I want to go or as long as I want to be away when Mum is managing her condition. I feel sure I will need to assist Mum  after Jonathan's wedding in September.  A pessimistic view but I think Mum is readying herself to join Dad. I will be bereft when she is no longer amongst us. 

The weather has been so humid and then hot and wet. Not typical Melbourne weather.

A golden morning guilds the buildings at 6 am

The same day at 1:30pm as a storm rolls over the city.

Missed publishing a post.

I just discovered that I hadn't posted the cruise with Mum. I had so much trouble with the internet while away.  It is completely out of synch now but it won't matter I suppose. 

Today I found out about Mum's cancer development and it has moved into her liver. They are still suggesting she will have 12 to 18 months but we are just hoping she will be okay for the Wedding. 

It is a rather disappointing development. I had hoped it would be slow growing but it is what it is and we just have to accept.