Orthodontists have a good life.

This week the orthodontist attached the wires to my back tooth to get it to straighten up so the implant will sit correctly.  It was quick to do but I feel it everyday and the wax I was using to cushion my cheek has been replaced with some sort of silicon so is more permanent. Even so I am finding it very uncomfortable and dread this for the next several months. I have to go back immediately I feel it has loosened so I am terrified every time I clean my teeth that I am doing something wrong. The wire catches food all the time so cleaning it is necessary. 

My austerity drive has gone out the window. This week will be better. At least I got the full refund from my health insurance which eased the agony. Glasses were not so good a refund so quite out of pocket  for them. Refund on photography and art classes will be nice too.

Waiting for news

I have disengaged myself from all my commitments except work so I can race off to be with Mum when we finally get the news. Results of further tests are still to come ( this Tuesday) which seems to indicate the issue may not be as serious as we were all led to expect in the beginning. I hope I am not being Pollyanna in this.  I am selfish enough to start getting a bit annoyed at the delay. I really wanted to do the photography course and the art class is such a good discipline and a joy even if I don't get enough practice in during the week.

In my typical optimistic outlook I am seeing this freeing up as an unexpected bonus to reconsider what really matters to me and where I want to really focus my time and energy. I feel I should go up to mum anyway because the whole waiting thing has been more stressful than the actual cause I think. 

This weekend has been the first Grand Final public holiday and it has left me with a weird feeling. Friday isn't usually a public holiday except for Xmas or Easter but the impact on me is really negligible anyway as I usually don't have much on Fridays. I spent it working on 'the Lectures' and have finally got to the last information one, now to write revision and exams. I will be glad to have that pressure off, even though I have found it interesting. 

I then took in a Movie'Holding the man' with Janine followed by dinner. The movie was so powerful and intense and sad. A story about two young men from Xavier College who embarked on an intense love affair and eventually died of AIDS. It was when homosexuality was not accepted,, and so there was this sense of impending doom all the way through. Also the AIDS epidemic was rife and I realised how I have forgotten how awful that was and is. The tenderness and loss of the men affected us both so we were glad to digest it all over dinner. It was a stark contrast to 'the Intern' which I had seen the day before. That was lighthearted and yet had some salient comments to make on the modern world and relationships.

Irene has been trying to FaceTime without success and it turns out they have been having huge problems with technology. I am amused that they want to keep in touch so soon but I understand the desire to share the experience  but on the other hand I had similar problems in Spain and found it frustrating.  Being caught between two worlds is no fun. 

I had a great time at the Zoo with Ziggy this week. I feel like our days are just getting richer all the time. I love him so much. These little people just worm their way into your heart and soul and become a part of you. Leaving him for a long holiday will be more of a wrench next year than I counted on. 

 Ziggy astride water buffalo at the elephant enclosure. The zoo has a free range Lemur exhibition and when I was kneeling to tie up Ziggy's shoelace one tried to jump on my back. Just being curious. I loved it.

Having more un structured time to myself that usual is probably good for me.  I know I tend to think of Peter more and there is a longing for his company that is present. It isn't painful just a void. 

I finally did my Tax return and it actually arrived in my bank account yesterday. A week is impressive and just in time to pay for my new glasses. My everyday red ones lost the arm again and when I asked if it could be repaired (again) they said the spring was broken and it was not repairable. I had it done at another place last time and it cost me $100 and over a week without them so I elected to buy a new pair. It is a shame I couldn't keep the lenses for the new pair but... A small fortune later I have bought gorgeous red sort of cats eye shaped, incredibly light weight frame, lightweight lenses with all the preventive guff. I wear them all the time so I figure I get the value and she did give me $100 discount rather than the free sunglasses I could have got. The frames were originally $745 and the lenses were $600!! 

It seems ridiculous when you get spec savers for much less but they are much lighter to wear which is an issue for me. I do wonder if cheaper glasses would be just as good especially when people get by with chemist magnifiers. They don't work for long distance though that is my justification. The last ones cost a lot as well and I figured about $2 a day over the length of their life. They didn't last as well as the previous ones (French and very stylish even now) which I am now wearing and have had for 10 years with a lense upgrade over that time. These new ones might have to see me out!! I will post a photo when I get them.

Birthday parties are chaotic

Life is rolling past very fast at the moment. Still don't know Mum's fate  and in the meantime I have been busy with work and a couple of extra meetings at work to try to get set to go up to Qld if I am needed. I am realising how 'involved' I am with art classes, work, and a photography class due to start.  If I have to go up to Queensland I need to be free to leave so  I have been organising refunds or transfers to other classes and I feel a real tug at my heart leaving Ziggy. We have been having the best time on our Tuesday's together. His imagination is so vibrant. 

Last week it was a mini monster in the botanical gardens we were playing with. A group of Chinese tourists must have thought I was completely looney talking to imaginary monster dads about taking his mini monster to the children's gardens with us!

The big excitement is that Jetstar released incredibly cheap flights to Japan.  I booked flights to Tokyo so we can go on the Komano Kodo trek. I have persuaded Kim & David, Bill & Irene and Anne to join me. It isn't till May next year but the flights were so cheap we just had to do it. Now I am doing my Japanese research. It was all such a flurry because the flights go so quickly!

On Saturday it was Ziggy's party for his third birthday. The theme was Teenage mutant ninja turtles so there were ninja turtle masks and cloth eye masks. The party was held at the park and his friends from Childcare were invited. They are a lovely little multicultural group of girls and boys and there parents as well as the aunts, uncles family friends and the Grandmothers.

Trying to keep an eye on a plethora of kids, slipping down the fast slide with different kids( their parents couldn't fit or weren't keen) and listening to the squeals of delight and feigned fear as they ran helter skelter made it a quite tiring affair. The food was almost healthy pizzas with ninja turtle printed on the boxes courtesy of Jonathan's graphic skills, lots of really delicious salads which the kids ate and fruit sliced. Then a box of ninja turtle donuts for the cake and later small packets of popcorn. Not a sweet or fairy bread in sight.  The kids had a ball and the parents enjoyed themselves too. I only realised Champagne was on offer when I got home! As the party drew to a close Ziggy asked me to come home to play with his toys. He was so sweet. I left the family after we had all had stiff coffees to go on to the movies with a friend. A Big day.

Guarding the donutsPlaying under the fountain 

 The after party wind down with the girls.

The world shifted slightly

My life has been chugging along steadily. An overnight stay with friends and some early planning for a walk in Japan next year a new interest. My brother-in-law Gary and his wife Micky visiting from Sydney was a delightful distraction.  Getting on with the teaching and enjoying the classes more than last semester. 

The group is small and I have  some students with significant challenges but overall a good group. It is heartening to see some of those students really staring to blossom now. The confidence is growing and I hope their people skills are improving too. The first group work activity has been difficult for one group and I have tried to guide rather than intervene to get them to solve their issues themselves.

I had a freewheeling painting class that I almost didn't attend because I felt too tired but I loved just exploring colour and techniques with different tools. Very abstract but emotional. It was only after a few days I noticed I had splashed my new shoes with paint in my unbridled enthusiasm.  As my darling husband would have said" too much gusto Kath!"

Dawn Csutoros my teacher was curious about the Camino because she feels it is something she is being called to do.  I of course was only too happy to talk about my experiences. She has a colour installation that is touring various churches or spiritual spaces in Europe and is thinking of other places she can exhibit. It seems remarkable to have such a creative artist as my teacher.

Then the bombshell.  Mum has been diagnosed with ( I hope) early stage lung cancer.  The whole family is in shock. She seemed so indestructible. She is so physically well and mentally alert that at 91 she seemed destined to keep on keeping on. The blindness of children. I am still her child even though I am 63 and she has been the constant in our life all that time. It is a reality check because Cancer is a disease of old age or the odds of developing it increase with age. Anyway she isn't dead yet so I shouldn't be talking as if she is about to leave us right now. 

 A photo of the amazing Edna  and me.

We will see what treatment options are offered and how bad it is first. It has disappointed her because she was going to come down for Ziggy's birthday next week and spend some time with him. We have cancelled the flight and the same might happen for the New Zealand cruise in late November too. We will wait and see. 

My idea of going to Japan will wait until I have more information. It is only a two week trip so not impossible to do  regardless of what transpires. 

Life isn't predictable so I don't know why we think we can control everything. What will be, will be.

Ist day of Spring 2015

What a glorious morning. I tried to capture the rising sun, the setting moon and a bunch of balloons with the golden morning sun glinting off the city buildings. If I had a proper camera I would have captured a better picture. A day of grace.

I went to another Camino Meetup which was fun and connected with a friend from Box Hill who is now working at Deaken University and about to walk half the Camino from just past Burgos. It was a less formal meal and I met several new people. I always come home after and hunt out my diary to relive my experience. It does capture so much of the emotions and the sense of peace I gained. It also makes me hunger for another.  I get a bit obsessed over it and now I am determined to walk the Camino Portuguese next year. I have purchased Brierley's guide and even done a quick foray into airfares. If I take the milk run I can probably get there for about $2,400.  With the Aussie dollar hitting the bottom of the barrel it is going to cost more than last time.  Who knows what might be the case next year?  I just feel I can't put things off. Talking about it brings forth a real physical reaction that is so strong. All the talk about neuroplasticity and physical links seems to be evident in these feelings.

It is gratifying to be able to share my experience and walking wisdom with others. I don't feel so self indulgent.

Saturday night my friends came for dinner and to put up my shelves at long last. Nick gave them to me last year and I never had the time or skill to put them up. I am no handy woman when it comes to finer jobs and I don't like to bother people even though I know they are happy to help. My friend Tim is the ultimate tool man and is a perfectionist so the perfect person to assist. I cook a feast in reward. I also invited some new friends I have made through the gym and we all got on like a house on fire. I decided to go Thai and cooked up way too much but it was enjoyed by everyone. I hate not having enough and these guys are big eaters even though they are slim.

I was pretty wrecked on Sunday so really just mooches around when I could have worked on my lecture or the ALIA submissions.  A girl needs a day of rest sometime.

I was supposed to have book club at my place on Monday but everyone who is here cancelled and the rest are all overseas. I had read the book and baked a cake and was looking forward to it. Anyway in the end it was a blessing to be having a quiet night at home. I had cancelled my art class too because it conflicts once a month.  I was able to be part of the teleconference for ALIA that I had declined and felt I made a good contribution after losing momentum over the last few weeks. My conscience was eased of that guilt, my lecture was written and all was well with the world.

I have decided to embark on a photography course in October because I have two great cameras and I am near to useless with them. I have always wanted to get past point and shoot so this will be my chance. It will also improve my 'eye' for art too. 

Even though I like my Monday art teacher I don't like acrylics so much and prefer pastels or watercolours and will concentrate on them in the future. This is what this year has been about too. Exploring new interests and trying to find the ones I love. I am also finally going to go back to learning French. I had a phone interview with a teacher from the Alliance Francaise which was to ascertain my skill level. I was a bit nervous because I haven't done any French since last year. I managed with many grammatical errors to speak and converse for over 10 minutes! I understood everything she said so she judged I was beyond basic level. I was quite chuffed in the end.  Some people do crosswords, I will do languages to exercise my grey matter. Now to fit in line dancing too!

Walking two Caminos hasn't tamed my busy gene quite yet but the declutter urge is still strong and I am shedding clothes and things to simplify as an ongoing activity.

When I reread this diary of the year after my Camino and travels I hope it will reveal some reflective themes.

Today I took Ziggy with me to the podiatrist because I could not see me getting there any other day. It meant we had an explore at The Chase Forest Hill which I discovered was well set up for Mums and kids

  

It has free trolleycars for children to make getting around with junior less painful, a really nice mother and babies room with small play zone ( presumably for breastfeeding mums with older kids) and a toilet with junior size and adult size side by side. After the podiatrist we detoured to Hays Paddock Kew for a play. Lots of dogs to pat and deep muddy puddles to explore. He has realised jumping in the puddles make you wet and he doesn't like that. However walking through them is irresistible.

I always feel it does him the world of good to get away into the natural landscape to see ducks and dogs and birds and lots of trees. We bought home some Golden Wattle sprays as a homage to Spring.

Long weekends are in the mind.

I have made a conscious effort to stick to the one thing at a time philosophy and found myself feeling so happy this week, almost euphoric. I didn't sleep so well but it didn't impact on my emotional state. I think it is also the sense of spring that is almost here. So many trees are in blossom and the wattle is coming out everywhere. We are so lucky to have flowers through our winters and spring then becomes such an explosion of blossom.

I finished last week by going out to a bar, the Gin Palace with Bill and Irene and then having a Chinese meal to follow. It was such a pleasant change of routine. We took the tram from Kew and when it stopped at the top end of Collins street we thought to have dinner at Mamasita because the queue seemed small. It is one of these trendy Mexican places but because there were three of us we had to wait till 9:30 pm before there was a table! Over two hours for goodness sake.  Anyway we dutifully left our mobile number and set off for the Gin Palace.

Irene and I had been there on our Phryne Fisher walk and it has a great atmosphere with couches and a bohemian feel. It was a buzz with youngies but undeterred we ordered our gins. We needed the torch on the phone to read the menu mind you which I felt a bit awkward about until the youngies next to us did the same! It was a very impressive gin cocktail with a price to match. All up two gins, a wine and a small bowl of olives cost us $70. Then I suggested this little Chinese place in Mid City arcade a as we were too hungry to wait till 9:30pm so by the time our call came we had already ordered and were receiving our food. It was really tasty especially the eggplant which was super delicious. The whole meal with rice. And tea came to $70!  Better value than our drinks for sure.  We wandered down to the tram stop, enjoying the city ambience of buskers and laughing groups.  We were home by 11 pm. I stayed the night and left after breakfast and the Age quiz in the morning.  That used to be a Saturday tradition when I was staying with them prior to moving into my apartment. 

I had gone prepared for a walk on Saturdaymorning but Irene was too tired and I needed to go on to lunch at Donvale(about 40mins away). 

The Wild Women of Warrandyte (where we all used to live once), have been getting together for nearly 25 years but our gatherings have become a little spasmodic over the last three years. This lunch included husbands and was a time to check in with Rebecca ( who lost her son about a month ago) and Lorraine who has just won a court case against her husband's GP who failed to diagnose his cancer and from which he died very soon after it was discovered. Life has challenges for everyone and as you get older the sense of limited time grips us all. It was a fantastic lunch and very convivial.

I was home by 6:30 pm and started preparing for Monday when I remembered it was only Saturday! What joy. I spent Sunday selecting photos for my Via de la Plata photo book. It was so enjoyable revisiting the Camino  again.  

Made a few phone calls and settled in to watch Dancing with the Stars. 

A great weekend.

One thing at a time.

Getting into the country reminded me about doing one thing at a time and I have diligently stuck to it all week. What a difference it makes to my sense of calm. I learned that lesson last year but in our hyper stimulated world it is easy to slip back to old habits.

I have had some rather uncomfortable dental work done in anticipation of receiving an implant to overcome 'galloping molars'. Sounds hilarious but the impact of such wayward teeth is  that the gap is allowing one back molar to turn horizontal and the opposite upper molar keeps coming down to meet the other. I bite my inner cheek frequently as a result so I am taking action to repair and improve the bite. In my usual gung ho way I understood the process theoretically but the actual implementation was a lot more than I bargained for.  I am now wearing a constant wad of wax over a protruding bolt to protect the inner cheek from laceration and ulceration and I needed stitches to pull the shrunken tissue up. It all just hurts a bit even five days later. One advantage is the subsequent swelling reduced a wrinkle round my mouth. I wonder if they could take the fat from my tummy and insert into my face? Voila no wrinkles! It would probably hurt like hell. I just have to love the face I've got. 

Loving my new very short hair and have decided to grow out the red colour at the front and go totally natural. At least that is easy care. I have been known to not brush my hair all day sometimes. It certainly never gets in my eyes!

Last night I finally finished a face I had been painting and feel pretty good about. I also did some more work on the pears that I started last Thursday in watercolour class.  They looked simple but they aren't as it turns out. Watercolours are so tricky but I do love the medium. The pears are looking quite okay

(from a long way away!).  My usual art class was cancelled so I decided to paint at home instead.  I was so engrossed I lost track of time.