A week with my Mother at Caloundra, Sunshine Coast, Queensland

@Now that I am semi-retired I wanted to spend more time with my 91 year old mother Edna.  

Living so far from her has meant I only have quality time with Mum once or twice a year if I am lucky and even though we keep in touch by phone it is not the same as time together. Now she is 91 I am keen to spend more time with her while she is mentally and physically able.  I decided to take her on little holidays because she doesn't get that opportunity very often now.  Last year for her 90th, I accompanied her on a cruise, a first for both of us. She really loved it and I could see that this type of holiday was very easy for her and enjoyable for me too. 

Cruising has never been the type of holiday that appealed to Peter and I as it is less about the destination than the cruising and we have always been more interested in the destination. However it is ideal for Mum and despite the fact that I suffered seasickness on the first day I found it pleasant. Mum was fine of course. I am very fortunate that she is physically very strong and steady and now with two new artificial knees ( the right knee fixed when she was 89)  she walks without pain and only needs her walking stick for support and steadiness.  Mentally Edna is still pretty sharp. Like all of us she repeats her stories and it takes her a little time to orient herself in new places but by and large she is still mentally alert and can put on a mean scrabble challenge!

We talk endlessly of course and share similar interests. Mum  is a master painter of porcelain and a fine artist in other media. She has painted and drawn all her life. On this trip to Caloundra I thought we would do some drawing together and meditations. The drawing has occurred but we talk too much to meditate!

Our apartment is at Golden Beach overlooking the Pumicestone Passage

A study in the day and at early morning. The incoming and outgoing tides are endlessly fascinating.

We have been having little excursions every second day and just enjoying our view the other days. I had to do some work which I hadn't quite completed prior to arriving but that was fine. Mum just wants my company which is lovely. Once that work was done I was free to relax myself too. 

Mum has a friend living here Lisa who we caught up with for dinner one night at her place near Kings Beach. She has an older apartment with two bedrooms and it is quite large. I felt most envious of the kitchen. It was so big. Two bathrooms and a real laundry too. I think that the apartments in the 1980s were built much larger.

We explored the Caloundra market and found it to be very good with quality products and I finally scored a stretch belt for half the price they are sold  in Melbourne. I also bought a new sun hat that travels and Mum got one too. Later we drive around to all the different beaches here.  They don't have the large stretches of sandy beaches that the Gold Coast or further north enjoy but they are quaint and interesting with rocky headlands.  Caloundra is a quiet place not particularly trendy and less a "holiday destination" for tourists. A real town. It is situated at the northern end of the Pumicestone passage between the mainland and Bribie Island and has excellent vantage points for watching the many container ships that travel up and down the coast to Brisbane. They come quite close into shore at the tip of Bribie Island before turning North-east and heading up and out to the Coral  sea.

We took a cruise up the inner waterway to the Pelican Waters Tavern on the Wednesday. The passage is really shallow so not a busy shipping lane, just lots of little tinies, aluminium flat bottomed fishing boats with dedicated fishermen. On other days it was busy with kite surfers and windsurfers scudding briskly across the surface.

We enjoyed the  commentary about the history, the  sight off Osprey flying and roosting in trees at the water edge, different types of cormorants, pelicans and gulls. The sand banks are important for water bird feeding and migration.  

  

 Pelican waters tavern. Great lunch and discount for cruise participants.

Short weeks

This week I oversaw the exam for my unit and then was determined to mark all the papers before heading off to Queensland on Wednesday. Going to Box Hill was not so bad this time and I went to lunch with Jan and Andrew like old times. Jan was heading off to China the next day to meet up with his wife who has been visiting her parents. I departed in time for Pilates. No staying  late any more! Next day after watercolour class and a massage I went to a meeting  with the library team. Twice in one week is a challenge. 

The accreditation work is slipping behind but I am determined to complete it before I got to visit Mum. This week has a lot of social catch ups which is so delightful and makes me work more efficiently. I had planned a dinner party weeks ago with Angie and Tim and then I decided to add Irene and Bill.  Bumping into my neighbour at Friday drinks downstairs, I decided to extend a long overdue invite to them too and also to Lee Lin who is now coming to Pilates with me. It was now a dinner for 8. I have let the housework slide over the last few weeks with all the work,  so Saturday was a whirlwind  of cleaning and cooking. I always feel so satisfied when the place looks neat and clean but I just find  it tedious to do it every week. 

I cooked a Spanish meal of Prawns with romesco sauce  as starters, Chicken with beans in tomatoe sauce and baked potatoes in stock. I also served Torta de Santiago with oranges in syrup for dessert. I even got Spanish sherry to start the night. We had a good time with lots of talk and laughing.  I really love cooking for people and seeing them enjoy the food and company. I feel complete.

Sunday I really focused on the accreditation work and knocked off two more. I was exhausted! I am not used to pushing myself so hard anymore. 

I took the pressure off by going to Mark Davis's play 'All for love' at a little studio theatre Q44 in Swan st Richmond. What a revelation. It is above a furniture showroom and includes an art gallery as well. Looked very New York Soho. Mark works at my gym when he isn't acting. The play was by Sam Shepard and written in 1983 but dealt with domestic violence and twisted relationships. Mark was fabulous and conveyed the menacing personality so well. I was quite frightened. Janine came too and we really felt rewarded for supporting this independent production. 

I decided to change my hairstyle and that meant cutting it all off aka Judy Dench. I have had a lot of shocked responses but also compliments. I found it pretty odd at first but it is fantastic to wash and no brushing! I really like it. 

Queens Birthday weekend

Friday  night I went  to a VALA (Victoriano Association For Library Automation) seminar at the Loop in Meyers Place. It was a very trendy little bar full of younger librarians who were there to hear a visitor from Denmark, Jan Holmquist talk about the future of libraries. He was a delightful guy who eventually partially disrobed to reveal a super hero tshirt.  I met my old team and we chatted with Jan and then later went on to dinner.  I felt quite validated that what I have been teaching this term was totally up to date and on song. It was all the stuff he was talking about. 

On the way back to the station we went in to see the famous picture of Chloe at Young and Jackson's pub opposite Flinders street station. It was a revelation. The hotel was really nice inside and the painting was beautiful. This is an iconic painting at an iconic pub in Melbourne. The painting has an interesting history. The nude figure offended the matrons of Melbourne in 1909.

I spent most of Saturday organising get togethers for the Wild Women, a group I am a part of  and who have been friends for 25 years. Needless to say we are not so wild anymore but we have found new family responsibilities and travelling, as well as work getting in the way of keeping in touch. Some of the group are going through very tough times and are missing the support we used to give each other. We used to all meet regularly once a month but that has drifted due to changed circumstances. We aren't there for each other like we used to be.Then it was back to work such as marking and the ALIA  accreditation panel work. 

I took a break to catch a movie with Janine and a quick Chinese dinner. Next day it was Yum Cha with nephew Martin down from Sydney and brother in law Robert and his wife Wanda, my Nick and his partner  Bec then back to work again. 

When I checked my emails I had one from my dear French friends, Monique and Michel who had just completed the Via de la Plata. I was so excited and pleased for them. They had experienced unexpected cold like me and said they had walked "1000.3 kilometres and were a bit tired" ! What an understatement after 44 days walking. Coincidently,  while I was checking the times for the "Woman in Gold" movie I had noticed another movie about walking the Camino.  Naturally I was interested and got side tracked looking up information about it.  Janine said she was interested in seeing it and assured me she wasn't bored stupid by my rapturous recollections of my two Caminos.  

We managed to fit in an early evening session and I really enjoyed it. The documentary" Walking the Camino: six different ways" brought so many memories back and I felt quite teary and emotional. Better still Janine found it illuminating and then wanted to discuss some questions afterward so we went to our favourite Lygon street cafe, the Copperwood to share wine and Pizza.  The movie is less the travel log than an investigation of the spiritual/emotional aspects of the walk.

 It left me rather unsettled  and almost desperate to undertake another walk.  I feel fettered by work again which is really silly because life is nowhere like it was before I walked last year. It reminded me though about keeping it simple. Work and minding Ziggy have taken up my free time again. That balancing act is so hard to maintain. I also contribute to the intensity by not managing my time as effectively as I should.

Next I was back to work and managed  to knock off three more TAFES. What I didn't get to was my painting. That was disappointing. 

This week seems to have too many appointments, work requirements and a forthcoming holiday with Mum making me feel somewhat overstretched. Deadlines, deadlines preying on my mind. I keep remembering how free or comfortable I felt when I had no deadlines. That almost twelve month break has left me less able or less willing  perhaps to ratchet up my efforts. Once you have tasted the freedom it is hard to go back if you don't need to.  

Today I spent with Ziggy and embarked on a new era of Ninja Turtles. My sons loved them and  here we go again. His uncle brought them for him. It seems funny. Jonathan was surprised when I said I still had the ninja turtle bus that he and Nick had as kids. A full circle of life.

Meditation habit

I started meditating  for Mindful May and have managed every day except three. I have started to feel it is essential to my day which is a major breakthrough. The challenge now will be continuing without the reminder emails😏. I feel that I have been calmer and more centred as well as more settled in my brain. That ever busy thinking muscle that never goes quiet.  We will see. It was one of the items on my to do list when I came home from my travels.  The list is being whittled down.  Slow but steady achievements are occurring. That is a good feeling.

Sydney weekend 30th May

With a farewell dinner at a Thai Restaurant on Friday night our duties were complete at Coffs Harbour and we prepared to return home. Our hosts were very anxious about their appraisal and also found the visit helpful in improving their course. We assured them that all had gone well but can't give them the final verdict because the recommendation has to go to the board of ALIA( Australian Library and Information Association) for sign off.

I managed to get up early enough for a walk around the resort complex and to the beach before breakfast. It was a treat with birds squawking in the lush gardens and soft waves rolling up the beach. Not quite warm enough for a swim  for me but nonetheless a delightful find. A few eager golfers were on the course but I headed back to breakfast so I would be ready for Bob to drive me to the airport. I had managed to check in  but didn't print a boarding pass. It turned out that my bag was too heavy at 9 kilos for the cabin so I checked it in. 

Flying from Coffs was so interesting because it is a smaller plane and I got to see the coastline all the way down as well as the hinterland and over the Pittwater into Sydney.  This time I had chewing gum in case I got the horrible ear blockage like the last flight but there was no need. I picked up the baggage quickly and rang Miicky my sister-in-law to let her know I had landed. She directed me to the pick-up area for Terminal 2. Sydney airport has three distinct terminals which is very confusing and I missed any signs directing me to T2, if they have them.  I asked ground staff for directions and then overshot the turn off but eventually found the appointed place. I really don't like Sydney airport. It always seems so congested and confusing once you get outside a terminal. Micky arrived quite quickly and we went to Coogie by the beach for Brunch. We met up with the rest of the family, Martin and Vivienne, my nephew and niece and Gary, Micky's husband. 

It was a bustling, trendy place with good pizzas and lovely fish and chips. I have had so many chips over the last few days. It is like Spain! chips with everything. We moved on to their home in Clovelly (which I had seen from the plane) had more tea and talk and were joined by my other Brother-in-law Roger who has moved to Sydney for a new job at the Powerhouse Gallery. He had been out looking at apartments to buy. It is very expensive to buy a house so he is looking at apartments but they are dear too. It is a tough market to get into and he is staying with Micky and Gary in the meantime. Micky was remarking that the two brothers were like twins- not in looks but in habits and attitudes, very fussy!

I rang Lyn with whom I was going to stay the night and Sunday. She and I walked the Camino Frances in 2012 and I haven't seen her for over a year. We have been friends since we were 8. It is a very special friendship. She and her husband live OTB, Sydney slang for over the bridge or north shore. 

Lyn and I can TALK. We are quite different in personality. As kids we often had a falling out on the way home from school and Lyn would swear she wasn't going to talk to me anymore. I would get up in the morning and have forgotten all about the tiff and just talk to her as usual and it would all be as if nothing had been said.. I just wore her down.

We come from very different families. She has four sisters and I had two brothers. They are close like my family but her Mum is rather set in her ways. Very independent but also doesn't like change. My Mum is independent too but a forward looking person with great optimism and very social.  I am taking my Mum on a cruise at 91 whereas Lyn's Mum would find the change of environment too challenging. Everyone is different but Lyn worries about her because she is still living in the same family home with high stairs at the back and finding the size of the home a lot to manage now. She refuses to consider moving to a retirement village. We will probably be just as stubborn when we are old.  Ageing is not for the faint hearted!

It was a rather cold night and I was happy to stay in and have a home cooked meal. Lyn had Spanish wine and had thought to cook a Spanish stew but instead we had delicious mushroom risotto. She and Bruce go to bed early (a lot of my friends are early to bed, early to rise types) and I was happy to do so to at 10:00 pm after the intense days at Coffs and my developing throat/chest infection. Lyn was up early to walk the dog and visit a friend who turned 80 that day. I amazingly slept in till 8:30 pm, bliss.

 

 We decided to do the Seven Bridges walk around Sydney harbour. The whole walk is 27 kms but we would only have time for half of it because my flight back to Melbourne left at 6:30 pm.

In the end we completed three bridges, the Harbour  Bridge, the Anzac Bridge and the Pyrmont  before lunching at the Drumoyne Sailing Club and getting a taxi back to the car from Birchenhead. 17 kms all told.  It was a fabulous walk and highlighted parts of Sydney waterfront I would not have otherwise seen.  Anzac bridge below.

  Lunch at Drumoyne

 Birchenhead looking down the harbour.

Lots of charming houses and parks. The young Taxi driver was very impressed with us. I was impressed with me too because it is the longest walk I have done since I had the plantar fasciitis issue. I am nearly 100 % again.

The 31 st of May was my darling husband's birthday. He would have been 66. Jonathan sent a little video of he and Ziggy singing happy birthday by his graveside. We all miss him so much still. Seeing Jonathan acknowledging his Dad and making him a person in Ziggy's life brings home to me the power of love.  There is an Irish saying: Death leaves a heartache no one  can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. I feel sad that Peter isn't seeing Ziggy and sad that I am not sharing this part of my life with him. Sometimes I still cry but it isn't from the pain of loss rather for a lost love and our future together.

Coffs Harbour NSW

Flew into Coffs Harbour this morning after a somewhat fraught trip on Qantas. An earlier flight  from 

Tullamarine had been cancelled which caused a change of planes for the next flight to accommodate  the extra passengers and a change of gates.  It took ages to load, we were delayed taking off and it took ages to unload in Sydney. It was like an international flight. The delay then caused me to nearly miss the connecting flight to Coffs. They were calling my name as I struggled to find the gate. As I started to run I lost my favourite red scarf and only noticed when I was about to go through the gate. I dumped my bag and retraced my steps to locate my scarf, fortunately only round the corner. Back I came to walk out onto the Tarmac where the flight attendant said my bag probably wouldn't fit in the cabin. She tagged it and gave it to the baggage handling. No extra security.

The flight was pleasant but I suffered severe ear blocking. I was met by the ALIA representative Judy,Brooker who is coordinating the accreditation panel I'm on. Our hire car had a deflating tyre and Judy started to have a nose bleed. A good start!

We drove into Coffs changed cars and proceeded to the Novatel. It is a resort with two huge pools, a golf course, restaurant and lake. It is rather nice. Hopefully I will get a chance to walk around and see the beach. We lunched and got to work reviewing our notes. After a brief break it was back to the meeting and then dinner.

Bombe delicious for dessert.

The Novatel

Tomorrow will be interviewing the Course administrators, teachers and students of TafeNow.

Full of love and contentment.

I have had a few days of delight. My art is going well, the accreditation assessments are on track, the lectures are completed and now it is the exam and marking. I had a great walk from Richmond to Carlton with Janine, talking the whole time of course. We never seem to run out of topics. Then Monday was a tying up the work bonus day that went awry when the power went off. 

I thought it was just my internet connection and when the help desk guy asked me to check the power switch I was a bit irritated. Then when I did check I was mortified to discover it was a power outage.

My computer had been operating on battery even though it was plugged in!  

As I prepared to take myself to the Camberwell library the power came on much earlier than the power country had suggested.  Up and down the 6 flights of stairs but very pleased to be able to get back to work at home. It had occurred to me that I may not have been able to get the car out of the garage. Living in an apartment poses some rather different challenges when the power goes out.

Today I was minding the Zigman and we ditched the music program for the park. It was much more fun. We ran ragged chasing the blue soccer ball, slipping down slippery dips and swinging on the swings. We climbed up the tall hill that overlooks the park and where Ziggy had hurt himself previously. He was mindful and was telling me to be careful that I didn't fall. Very cute.  I decided to show him how to do roily poly down the hill. This I discovered is not a good idea. After rolling down half the hill i stopped because not only was I giddy ( remember how we loved that when we were kids) but I was nauseous! I thought I would throw up. I wonder if this is an age thing or because I had that balance issue a few years ago from an imbalance in my inner ear. This is such a great park for kids and adults.

Looking from the hill down on the park.

He went off to bed like a lamb when I said we would be going to play with Abby later. 

Sam ( Abby's mum) is very relaxed and now she has twin girls as well, she is pretty snowed under with the three kids in a very little house. I really admire her. I would have been a mess but she has the right idea and doesn't stress about the house . We had a great play and I am company for Sam too. I folded a basket of washing while we talked and minded one of the babies while she got the bottles ready. That extra pair of hands is so helpful even for a little while.   Our happy time was abruptly punctuated by a thump and then Ziggy crying. He had fallen off a chair he had used to climb out of one of the cots, something Abby does easily but he has never done before. He was okay but the heater wasn't quite as good   It sustained a broken supporting base. Fortunately it was more shock than physical pain. When we left Ziggy and Abby hug and kiss goodbye. It is very natural to them. 

We got home just before Jonathan arrived home and then I was out the door to battle with the traffic to get home before Bec and Nick come for dinner. 

I feel so lucky to have such loving relationship with them all.  Nick and Bec are coming regularly for dinner with my grand-dog Alfie.

we have such a nice time. I love cooking for them and hearing about their plans. Jonathan and Claire and Ziggy are equally as warm and sharing but at their place. I just felt so full of love tonight.

I finally feel settled.  For now anyway. Life is good, even on my economy drive. Happy.