Destination weddings and techno anxiety

I am at Singapore airport waiting for our connection to Koh Samui which has been delayed a couple of hours much to the consternation of a few of the party.  When I booked I missed the booking through all in one go and distressed some of the group by having to exit, collect my baggage and then check in again.  It went off  smoothly in less than about 20 minutes. 
The next cause of stress was one of the party having an anxiety attack over the fact that they are uncontactable. No global roaming and therefore suddenly overwhelmed with panic and in tears.  It makes you think how attached we are to our mobile devices. Once we were out of contact for weeks at a time.  I was often uncontactable last year and I did have a few moments of anxiety but I was able to deal with it rationally and get past it. I think we should be uncontactable more often.
Now I am getting hungry and a drink would be nice too.

 Very tired group at Changi

The flight was great. Full but quiet and I caught up on three movies I wanted to see.  I picked the Paper plane and felt very emotional and cried. The other movie was the Imitation game and the Theory of everything. All great movies but all a bit sad too.

We arrived finally very late and Angie was shocked at where the resort is. It was like going through the boondocks, rural Thailand and then arriving at paradise. 

Our rooms are very nice but there are a few different low levels. No OH&S here! I have this massive bed and a spa bath on the balcony. I just had a quick shower and fell into bed. Angie was very upset because she had wanted a sea view and paid extra th have it. There was no sea view. I thought we were getting a garden room but we are on the 4th for.  I am happy and ime morning I could glimpse the sea from my balcony.

A working week

This week I was focussed totally on getting organised for going to Thailand. This meant getting those lectures finished and ready for Andrew to deliver in my stead. That is a rather challenging situation because your lectures are so personal and you know what you will add or do in the class to make it interesting, so having to set up,for some one else's delivery is rather more time consuming. To be honest I feel a trifle anxious too. Is it good enough? Well too bad I did get them finished after three solid days and my wrists are aching from sitting at the desk and computer. It is quite obviously not an ergonomic set up.

It was with great relief I finally posted the work to the student learning system and to Andrew. I have now got marking to do too. Ugh! assignments are due but they will have to wait till I return. I am constantly chasing my tail but so what is new. I am not letting it bother me. 

Swimming lessons with Ziggy are a hoot and turning quite social with post class interaction with the other kids and parents. It is quite tiring though. Today the poor little mite fell asleep on the way home. I was tempted to keep driving but I thought he probably should go to sleep in his bed. BIG mistake. He has done nothing but tell stories out loud to himself for nearly and hour and I wanted him to have a good sleep before we went to play with Abby today.  little people aren't always so predictable.

I gave blood this week too because I will have to wait another four months otherwise and I have missed my usual donations due to travel last year. I have made 60 whole blood donations so far. Because I am 0- they like the whole blood. I think of it as my community service.

When I get back there will be a break from art classes which will free me up for some writing time and time to do a proper budget. Now I am really relying on my super I need to be more  aware. It has been an expensive few months this year so far and I may want to take on more work albeit reluctantly if I want to rebuild my liquid cash balances. It is not that urgent but I have never really done a proper budget which is disgraceful. I can't put it off any longer.

I frequently long for the walking road. My foot is not entirely healed but I would love to be walking again. Not necessarily weeks but a few days would be divine. I am feeling more inclined to just take myself off somewhere. Everyone seems to be as busy as me and so it is hard to get common times together for walking. 

I am off to Thailand, Koh Samui tomorrow for the wedding then a few days in Malaysia and home. It will be fun I am sure, though there doesn't seem much to do but lounge  by the beach. Not exactly a hardship. My hairdresser tried paddle boarding while he was there so I hope they have that at the resort. 

The mother of the bride is rather anxious, understandedly, so I will have to keep a close eye on her to help her enjoy the occasion. After all the kids chose the place for their wedding and. Had the resort do most of the planning with them.  I am sure it will be fine. If it rains it rains and we get wet or go inside. The main thing is they just get married.

 Ziggy playing at the new children's park which has fountains that the kids can play amongst. He got very wet.

My first ever all vegetarian dinner party.

My friend Jan who is also my bodyworker (massage of sorts), is a vegetarian. She and her husband live a rather alternative life. They follow a guru who has a base on an island in Fiji. When I first started going to Jan they lived in a communal property in Kew. They are lovely people, not weird, just not so involved in mainstream life. Ron is a chemist and an expert in Aromatherapy.  Anyway they are part of the Ballina camping crowd so I thought it would be nice to have them come to dinner and decided we would all have vegetarian.  I had guacamole for nibbles, coconut and lettuce soup followed by Morrocan picking , sweet potato and chickpea Tagline with couscous, finishing with poached white nectarines and strawberries. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself.  Ron and Bill certainly went for seconds. It was all quite delicious and I didn't miss the meat at all. I forgot to take photos.
I was remarkably well organised too with everything completed well in advance on the day so that I could pop out to meet Lawrence (Pete's cousin who was over from Adelaide)  for coffee.

Sunday I spent writing my lecture!

A long weekend of exploring my own backyard.

This last week has been a week of divergent interests. My watercolour class was challenging. We were doing a landscape and learning new techniques of line and shadows. Jolly hard on the one hand but also freewheeling and fun on the other.  I squeezed in a meeting at the Box Hill Campus because I felt the need for some feedback from colleagues.  I feel happy I am on the correct path but I am also getting behind and need to ramp up my effort because the wedding in Thailand is looming and I need to have two classes covered by someone else.  Being back at work even for such a brief time really feels constraining. I think I transitioned too successfully last year! 

I had booked a couple of seats for a talk by Roxane Gay an American writer, feminist and blogger. She was at the Wheeler Centre talking about being a 'BadFeminist, the title of her book. She was very provocative and so interesting. The audience knew her  and her work really well but Janine and I were quite ignorant and had selected  the talk by the topic. The audience was comprised of many young women many probably gay.. It was a stimulating evening and quite outside our normal range so I felt we had made another strike for the new us! 

Anyway Just when I was finally focused and firing over my lecture the printer died and I needed to take it to be repaired. This was time I didn't need to waste when I had a long weekend of socialising booked. I had a wedding to attend on the Sunday and had decided weeks prior to make a weekend of it with my friend Janine. The wedding was down at the Eagle Ridge Golf Course at Rosebud on the Mornington Peninsula. This is such a delightful part of Victoria that I have only explored in fits and starts. Janine is from the other side of the bay, the Bellarine peninsula and isn't that familiar with the area either.  We were staying at a pretty dodgy looking(very old) motel. I was in trepidation when we arrived yet it was clean and the beds were comfy and the pillows were excellent. Even the shower was great

Our first stop was Sorrento a charming up- market village on the bayside where we had a second breakfast of Spanish omelette and coffee. After planning our day we took off to Gunnamatta a beach on the Bass Strait side of the Peninsula. This is a rugged beach and had romantic memories for both of us. when we were in the early stages of our courtships Peter and I with Eric and Janine made a similar visit. The beach was windy and we playfully chased each other in and out from the water's edge laughing. I remember my hair was windswept and Peter catching me in an embrace and calling me sexy. I thought he was too! Young love.

Gunnamatta Beach

Janine and I . We saw a little Echidna as we entered the beach. I think they are so cute and endearing little creatures. That was a bonus.

 From here we ventured through The village of Flinders another charming place and on to Pt Leo to watch the surfers, little black dots atop the waves.

 From here we travelled on to Balnarring, not so impressive a beach and then to Merricks General Store for wine tasting of Rose. The next wine stop was next door at Stoiers Winery and Janine bought some lovely dry champagne. I had to be more circumspect as I was the driver. We turned inland to Red Hill and passed through lovely country with olives and vines and vegetable  farms. We stumbled upon the Red Hill Cheesery and decided to get a tasting plate. A platter of tiny morsels of about 10 different cheeses. every satisfying and interesting with several new Sheep and goat cheeses tried. After this stop we headed back across the peninsula to Arthur's Seat a fabulous vantage point to see both up and down the bay. Finally we wended our way back to our very humble  motel and decided to have fish and chips for dinner. The little place was manned by a Vietnamese or Chinese family and the fare was really tasty. The local bottle shop was able to provide plastic cups for our accompanying wine, Foxy' Hangout a refreshing Rose.

After a surprisingly good night's sleep we took off to Heronswood at Domana. This is an historic home and organic garden, now the home of the Diggers Gardening Club. They maintain heritage seeds and plants. It is a beautiful home built from stone quarried at Arthur's Seat. We caused some consternation to staff by not venturing through the shop initially and thus bypassing the entrance fee. We were looking for breakfast but had to settle for Devonshire tea of scones with jam and cream. The restaurant wasn't open for breakfast.

There were some very interesting plants and beautiful  old trees.

At the left is thee early bud of the flowerDutchman's Pipe- very intriguing creeper. I thought it was quite hermaphroditic!

The picnic tree.

We returned to the motel for me to get flamed up for the wedding in my sparkly dress and earrings.

 The happy couple I discovered the bride's aunt, who lives in California and I have a mutual friend. It is a small world.

Heather and I at the wedding. She is a florist who specialises in weddings so organised all the flowers for the wedding. They were beautiful. 

Monday Janine and I drove up the coast to all the beaches and towns until we turned inland to visit Langwarren and the McClelland Gallery and Sculpture park.  This is a fabulous place and I will bring visitors here in future. 8 hectares of land dotted with sculptures. Janine and I had some wonderful discussions about the various pieces before we had a tasty lunch at the cafe. 

 Urban sculpture of supermarket trolleys 

Our favourite the Chrysalids(?) by Philip Price. It waved in the wind like trees or seaweed in the currents. 

The Void below was the winner of the 2014 Sculpture competition.

Home to Melbourne and a rest.

 

All calm again- at least for now.

It feels like I blinked and now it is March. Family issues resolved and after a short break I was greeted with such enthusiasm by Ziggy I felt a surge of joy. We have swimming on Mondays and he just loves it. I had to tread water a few times because our group is in a deep pool with a sloping floor and when we do the circle songs I can't touch the bottom. Fortunately Ziggy doesn't mind going under the water! We always do a bit extra before the class so he is really tired, and so am I.

Fireman Sam, Ziggy's Alter ego. He does a great job of saying' move back, move back from the fire!'.

I asked again for my Seniors card on the off chance it might have turned up and they had it! I was pleased and so was the girl behind the counter. I am sure when I asked last time of a different staff member she couldn't be bothered to check properly. Maybe that is mean but it has been over three weeks and I was sure they hadn't given it back after photocopying.

The plumber was attending to some leaks in the roof at Clare and Jonathan's flat. A rather handsome plumber actually and nice to speak to as well. He was there until just before Mini Maestros. Hopefully the issue is resolved but I wonder if Jonathan and Clare appreciate the fact that I am there instead of one of them? Hmm.

I was horrified to find a huge black cockroach in the cake container in the pantry. I got the fright of my life when it scuttled quickly around the container. Jammed the lid back on till I worked out what to do. It gave me the creeps as they move so fast! What a wimp I am. When we were growing up in Qld. we always had cockroaches and they didn't scare me then. When I first came to Melbourne and for many years after there were no cockroaches. I think it is climate change and the rising humidity we seem to be getting now that has attracted them. Anyway I duly squashed it. I always feel a bit guilty killing such things. It seems a bit mean. For some reason I always think of Bhuddists and the sanctity of life. Weird.

I skipped book club because it clashed with my Monday drawing class. When I organised these things I was taking art in the mornings but with the extra Ziggy day I needed to shift hours or lose my money so there is a clash once a month. I am enjoying the art class so much I just didn't want to miss it. I find it so exhilarating because I am really improving. 

 My latest effort. Those bent fingers were really hard.

These are the sort of changes I was hoping would eventuate.  Being a tad more discriminating with my time. Though I still say yes to most things.  Roger my brother-in-law sold his house on Saturday by auction. I found the process nervewracking and the agent, a young chap, worked very hard to get the price above reserve. Ultimately he got $1,100,000 which was an excellent result but not enough for a similar place in Sydney.  We celebrated afterwards with champagne, prawns and oysters and several of Roger's friends. One was a French guy called of course, Jean Pierre, ( not gay either) who I found especially charming but he was much younger. On the one hand I find younger men more attractive but I feel too old for them. I think the age gap is too much and I would feel awkward. It is very difficult.

It is discouraging how expensive homes are in Australia and our capital cities in particular. My children will have a tough time buying a place. A report has come out about how difficult it is for families to find work close to where they live so they are forced to commute long hours which in turn interferes with family life. No wonder there is rising domestic violence and family breakdown. My 91year old mother says she doesn't think husbands and wives get enough sex these days! She might have a point.

I am struggling with my lectures at the moment though still two ahead. I feel like I need some brainstorming over the topic. I feel stuck. I probably need to do more reading. I cannot believe I don't seem to have enough time still. It is evident I am not pushing everything in like a foot in a sock these days. I am not feeling anxious like I used to before I quit full-time work but I certainly got a lot more done. 

This is an aspect I need to reconcile. Doing less is okay, accept.

An emotional week.

This week I had a difference of opinion with my son about how I mind Ziggy. I was terribly upset and I know he was also but I  couldn't quite understand how he had come to his view that I didn't respect his wishes.  I cried myself to sleep a few nights and was terribly concerned that I had damaged our relationship irrevocably.  I thought and thought about the cause and finally settled on my approach being to put Ziggy first when he is with me, before the concerns of his parents. I let him sleep longer than usual because he seemed to need it and then followed with a late play date. He had a great day, he was not overtired but it was symbolic of my attitude.

From their point of view they were probably correct that I wasn't respecting their wishes entirely but I was in Grandma mode. I don't spoil him but I also don't see the point in forcing issues over minor things.  Minor to me anyway but perhaps not so to my son. They are raising a delightful child so I will just do as they wish always from now on. 

I have and had a more relaxed approach to childcare. We had a loose routine when my children were small but I was always happy to change the routine if something came up. They are less spontaneous and stricter with the routines. There is no right or wrong but what suits the family.

I started work this week and took my first class. I was in very early to prepare and like a turtle, had all my materials in a back pack. We are 'hot desking'  which means sharing a desk with several teachers over the week. You don't feel you can leave your 'stuff' so I carry it all back and forwards. I have to admit I actually enjoyed the experience and the students seem really nice. It is a group of 10 and range in age from school leaver to mature career changers.  It was good being back in the class room actually.  I managed to remember how to manage the student learning system even though I have done nothing with it for twelve months. My brain hasn't gone soft yet. I feel more motivated to get on with the writing now too. 

My watercolour class was great fun this week and I got lots of encouragement and positive feedback back on my drawing ability. I am loving it. 

I finished 'Wild' finally and found it one of the best books I  have read for awhile. I found it very moving on several occasions.  I could have re read it straight away but I have ' The House of Grief' by Helen Garner to read for book club next week so I loaned it to Irene.  I feel like I might reconsider book club because I want to read what I want to read rather than the set boo and I don't have quite enough time to do both, I just don't read fast enough! I weakened and bought 10 new books from the bookshop downstairs that is closing down. They were all interesting and at $5 each too cheap to pass up but when will I get to read them? I am so weak sometimes. Now I will have to set up a system whereby I take one unread book at a time until I read them all.

Dinner with my husband's  old university friends on Friday was very enjoyable.  One couple have downsized from their larger home and garden to a smaller town house style and since I saw it first, when they moved in they have done so much renovation it looks amazing. Jude is very accomplished  at making a place look like a magazine but still feel like a home.  I was so impressed. The back courtyard was transformed from a dingy unevenly paved triangle into an elegant, level, smoothly paved leisure space.  I almost felt envious and when I came home I decided my place needs sprucing up. I am out so often it can get away from me. I went through that flurry when I first moved in but now I just live my life and don't pay that much attention.

Saturday I did the usual chores and actually some work before getting organised to go to 'the White Night'.  It is an extravaganza of 12 hours devoted to art, light and music from 7:00pm till 7:00 am situated around the CBD.  This is the third year and I have never been before. I found it an interesting and stimulating experience. There was too much to take in though and we also walked from one end of town to the other. At  St Paul's Cathedral - Bach on the organ.

 The       State Library

 The Exhibition Buildings Four Elements.

Irene and I at the museum Chinese tumblers busking

 Wonderland lights in Flinders Street

 Sitar's garden on the River with floating Bollywood dancers.

The crowds were large but not  jammed as they have been in the past. It had such a happy atmosphere and catching the train at 1:30 am was a hoot. The station announcer was so upbeat that when he announced our train people cheered. Everyone was chatting  which is so different to the usual morning train rides of people glued to their phones. Eventually I got home about 3:00 am after a cup of tea at Irene's place. 

Needless to say I slept in till about 9:30 am Sunday and felt quite disoriented all day. I ended up visiting Bill and Irene again to give Bill his birthday present. Irene showed me her renovations which are fantastic. Very modern  and striking tile work n the laundry and bathroom. She is in a bad way ( like I was last year) with her work.  They are expecting too much from one person and she is just exhausted and anxious about responding to all the queries without even any admin support. I don't understand why bean counters think it is more efficient for professionals to do admin work as well as the work they are actually employed to do and no one else can do! Admin work is essential so it must be done. Expecting people to do two jobs all the time is  inhuman. It is like we are back in the factories of the industrial revolution. It certainly reinforced my intention to stick to teaching only one  class!

I actually cleared my ironing basket and a few more clothes out of the wardrobe as well today so all was not lost.

Monday I got stuck into uploading my lectures and also trying on dresses for the weddings. I had a call from Jonathan about a restructure at work which will mean he and Nick will get put on the payroll at last and start getting super, sick leave and holiday leave. It is a good move and won't impinge on their fledgling business.  We have had a couple of communications over the weekend so I felt relieved that we are again on good terms. The night finished on a high with my drawing class. I feel like I am really learning and getting better. The teacher does a lot of exercises to stimulate the artistic side of your brain so you are less inhibited.

 Drawn upside downand looking down on my leg.

The week ahead is full of dinners and friends.  I am happy.

A week of new beginnings

I started my drawing class on Monday night and discovered this is a serious class. None of this do what you like, but a structured learning experience. I was the one and only new raw beginner so I had special tasks to accomplish before the teacher will let me do the regular class work.  It was a bit scary because they have all been there for at least a term and also exciting because their work is evidence she is a great teacher.  By the rapture of the students they have been very pleased to have her back as a stand in for the other teacher who was to take the class. I drew a passable hand and a terrible drawing of Nick from my memory as my class tasks.
I had orientation for my unit on Wednesday and got to see where I will be teaching.  The location of the campus is right in the middle of the city in the edgy, interesting Flinders Lane precinct

  There are numerous quirky shops and arcades, coffee places and generally a great atmosphere. The classrooms are all computer rooms so everyone will be facing the wall unless I get people to turn their chairs around. This is not my ideal teaching room because I like lots of interaction with the students. I will need to be creative.. Otherwise it is a 'hot desk' office. This means no dedicated computer or personal space. I will be like a turtle with my home on my back.  At least now I have no more excuses and I will be able to buckle down and focus on the task of lecturing.

I still managed to get to Pilates and feel that it is doing me a power of good. If only I could fit in yoga as well somewhere I would have a whole body program.
We finally had the hot weather and I had wet evidence of the leak. Immediate response from the building manager and the lady above discovered an even worse leak and then it was diagnosed as originating between  floors so it is in the builder's hands. I am prepared for a long wait for repair.  In the meantime a bucket catches the run off! 

 Dripping on the insulation.

Thursday I had my second watercolour class and felt quite surprised at how timid I was. I have been quite gung-ho up to date but again a more structured class induced a hesitancy I hadn't experienced for a long time. It is good for teachers to be reminded of how it feels to be out of your comfort zone as a learner I think.  I actually got stuck into some degree work afterwards and felt more comfortable and enthusiastic than I have for sometime.
Not for too long as the Friday afternoon movie group assembled to see Billy Connelly in 'What we did on our holiday'.  It was so funny and sad too. A thoroughly good entertaining movie. Next I was off to Supergraph at the Exhibition buildings. This is a event  for emerging young graphic artists to show there wears which is run by Mikala Tai. She is the daughter of my long time friend Janine and like a sister to the boys. She is an amazing young woman, with fabulous entrepreneurial ability, excellent people skills and just delightful. Her Supergraph has made the international scene with an invitation from London and NewYork to showcase the best at their similar shows. These young people today are so inspiring. Their ideas have no borders. Below left is the drawing Olympics.

 The crowd at Supergraph face-o-mat 

Saturday I indulged with reading my book Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I am loving it and of course it is much better than the movie with Reece Witherspoon. She writes so well and I feel a connection with her as a long distance walker myself. My walks were not such wildernesses but still long distances. It makes me long for the wide open spaces and the simplicity of that life. We or I lead an overstimulated life I think and I wonder if the Protestant work ethic plus hyper civilisation is not a sort of addiction? The old adage that the devil finds work for idle hands or some such saying underlies our compulsion to be busy busy all the time.  It really takes some getting used to not working and not feeling selfish or lazy because you aren't . I can sense a change in my mental framework because I am back to doing some teaching again. I certainly don't want to get sucked into the politics, just teach is my intention. That I can stick to.
Sunday morning I took a swim in the pool downstairs which was such a nice change for my body and yet I kept swimming too fast so I got puffed. I really need to practice the slow and steady pace I began before Christmas so it is more meditative.
Tara has finally returned to set up their flat and her mum Anthea came across too.  I invited them to dinner. I managed a second Jamie Olover menu from his book and executed it well. I am enjoying doing different recipes and it is fun working through the book.
This week I felt that I was developing a rhythm to my week that was satisfying, and while busy,  it wasn't stressful and I had time on my own as well as company. It felt balanced. Can I maintain this ?